The Dianoga Is In The Details

The following is being included as a bonus feature with the 37th Anniversary re-release of Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope (available in Blu-Ray, DVD, Ultraviolet, and digital formats), re-edited and with additional scenes, in order to give more detailed background regarding the Star Wars universe.

Memo: To All Staff

From: General Voreth, Head, Death Star Sanitation

As you know the recent security breach by a small group of rebels has prompted a review of all systems. This includes sanitation, which the rebels used in making their escape.

In reviewing the sanitation and waste processing systems I was shocked by how poorly all of you are adhering to protocols. The worst offender by far was the detention area, but I still found significant problems in all areas.

Since taking this position I have been a strong proponent of recycling. All of you should be familiar with my “Go green-Go Empire!” program which has had the support of both Grand Moff Tarkin and Darth Vader, and the Emperor himself has called it “very interesting”. It is my belief that the best way to keep the local star systems in line is a two-pronged approach of fear and environmental consciousness.

To address the detention area specifically, all staff have been very lax about sorting materials. Following the rebels’’ escape through one of the trash compactors I was shocked to find that it contained not only broken storage containers and some droid parts. There was also at least one support beam that had been perfectly usable prior to their attempt to use it to stop the compacting process. I shouldn’’t have to remind all staff that metals, resins, and other inorganic materials should be properly sorted into the appropriate color-coded disposal units on levels six and seven. The trash compactors on the detention level are strictly for organic waste: leftover food, former prisoners, etc. The dianoga I had captured and placed in the detention level trash system may seem like a ferocious animal, with its single eye and tentacles, but it is a sensitive aquatic creature. Its purpose is to facilitate the breakdown of organic waste. Its usefulness in this regard has made it cost-effective enough that we are still ahead financially in spite of the loss of seven Stormtroopers to unfortunate accidents. I don’’t want to hear any more complaints about it.

I realize this station is currently preparing for battle, but I am requesting that a portion of the staff be assigned to sanitation duty, specifically sorting and cleaning all trash compactors and waste disposal units. All waste should be sorted appropriately, and I expect this to be done by the time we reach the planet Yavin. These responsibilities will also be rotated among low-ranking units in order to impress on all of you the importance of recycling and appropriate waste disposal. Remember: we only have one Death Star. If we don’’t take care of it we could lose it.

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  1. Pingback: Star Wars Facts You Don't Know. - Freethinkers Anonymous

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