AF: Good afternoon. I’m Alan Freed and thank you for tuning in to WKGR, the Grocery Radio. Here are this hour’s headlines. A short in the freezer section has caused the freezer containing ice cream and novelties to stop working. A repair crew is expected shortly. In the Gourmet Items section of Aisle 4 a small child dropped a bottle of kumquat syrup on the floor. A cleanup crew is currently on the scene. T-bone steaks are on sale this week for $4.99 a pound, and this week’s circular includes several valuable coupons including one for fifty cents off all JJ brand cereals. I’m going to turn things over now to Robert Weston Smith, our eye on the aisles, for a traffic update.
RWS: Thanks Alan. We’ve got things moving along smoothly on the back wall from Produce to Poultry, with a little bit of a delay over by the dairy cases. There was a brief altercation between a couple of women over blocking the case that holds the artificial creamers, but it’s resolved itself without too much trouble. Looks like the milk is being restocked and that’s slowing things down. Over in Aisle 4 the kumquat syrup cleanup is going ahead but it’s causing some rubbernecking, so that’s slowing down traffic a little bit there too. There are also volume delays in Aisle 14 where the bread is, and Aisle 15 from the shampoo to the diapers. The maintenance crew has also just arrived at the freezer, and that’s starting to slow traffic from the frozen waffles all the way to the fish.
AF: Thanks for that update Robert. Now over to John Peel for the weather.
JP: Thank you Alan. The misters are on over in produce, so if you’re picking up cucumbers be sure to bring an umbrella. I’m just kidding. They’ll shut off in a minute. Things are cool and dry in the rest of the store, but a warm front is coming from the bakery where they’ve just brought out some fresh bread. And over in that freezer section Robert mentioned things are heating up, so now would be a good time to get ice cream. Back to you Alan.
AF: Thanks for the weather report John. Here’s some late breaking news: Butterchurn butter is now two for a dollar, and there’s a new brand of pecan sandies available in the cookie aisle. Coming up: three continuous hours of instrumental top 40 hits. Somebody please kill me now.