Dear John…

005In one evening watching TV I counted three different commercials for products that treat “overactive bladder”. This would have been disconcerting if I hadn’t been watching The Plumbing Channel, but it did get me thinking. Why isn’t there a product to treat shy bladders? I sometimes have this problem that I can’t go when there’s someone standing next to me, and I once stood in a public bathroom stall with one foot back against the door because there was no lock. The potential side effects for overactive bladder always seem to include dry mouth and difficulty urinating, so I guess anything that would treat shy bladder could have the side effects of needing to wear adult diapers because you’re running like a tap that can’t be turned off and excessive drooling. It must be a completely untapped problem because I know the pharmaceutical industry will target everything that’s potentially a problem, even something like shy bladder that, at least in my experience, is easily solved. I either drink one of those half gallon bottles of water and wait ’til I feel like a dam about to burst or I just relax, take a deep breath, and think about Niagara Falls. That always does it for me. Even just the mention sets me off. If you’ll excuse me I need to see a man about a horse, and I also need to urinate.

niagara

6 Comments

  1. TwerlaP

    Ive heard men just stare at the wall and dontspeak or look at each other. And that would be perfect for me, cuz the nonstop chatter in the womens room can be annoying. Just let me pee in peace!!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Usually that’s the case. I find that trying to initiate a conversation, say with something like “How’s it hangin’?” doesn’t go over very well.

      Reply
  2. Gina W.

    I have another potential solution for you– watermelon. It’s a natural diuretic. I made the mistake of eating some late last evening and then had to get up and pee three times during the night (sorry– TMI). It’s either the watermelon or I’m going to need to get my prostate checked (or as my Mom always calls it, “prostrate” which is both funny and annoying). In any case, I now have much more sympathy for older men and their prostate/prostrate problems.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      My grandmother would give me a piece of watermelon and then she’d take it away before I could get halfway finished because she was afraid I might accidentally bite off a huge piece of the rind and die. I guess no one ever told her that people pickle and eat the rind. Anyway you’ve made me realize she was concerned about the wrong thing. And I can’t drink water, let alone eat watermelon, after about eight at night unless I really want to get up at three.

      Reply
  3. kdcol

    I have no problem either way. Now I have others in my family on both sides of that coin though. (Psst… Gerald can be a little shy). 🙂

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’ll keep that in mind if he and I are ever in adjacent stalls.

      Reply

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