Almost 100% of cigar holders are also smokers.

I found this useful guide to┬ádetermining someone’s character by how they hold their cigar in Google Books.

cigar

15 Comments

  1. Chuck Baudelaire

    I feel a strong urge to do a parody of this involving the male anatomy. That is all.

    Reply
    1. kdcol

      Yeah, where’s the helicopter move? (and then I wonder what THAT would say about someone’s character…)

      Reply
      1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

        The helicopter move is for someone who’s never around when you need them. I guess it’s kind of hard to illustrate.

        Reply
    2. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      And I feel a strong urge to see that. It’s almost a crime that such a parody doesn’t exist yet.

      Reply
    3. Spoken Like A True Nut

      Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

      Except when it’s a penis.

      Reply
  2. Gina W.

    This reminds me of a chart that a friend had at work that showed your personality based on the shape of your lipstick after you used it (pointy, flat, smushed, etc). It was worthless on me because all of my lipstick shapes were different. I don’t know what this says about me. Also, between the cigar and the lipstick, what’s the connection between phallic objects and personality anyway?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      How accurate was it, anyway? I think it says that you never put on your lipstick the same way twice. For real answers, though, I have to turn elsewhere:

      Reply
      1. Gina W.

        When I clicked on this it says, “Video doesn’t exist”. What kind of cocktease is this anyway?

        Reply
        1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

          I have no idea what went wrong there. Let me try again with a different version.

          Reply
  3. Spoken Like A True Nut

    Apparently I’m loquacious, popular, generous and open-hearted.

    I don’t want to be loquacious, popular, generous and open-hearted.
    Then I’d have to talk to people and share my cigars.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Sometimes the way you hold your cigar is just the way you hold your cigar.

      Reply
  4. Shawna

    I twirl mine like a baton and when I’m all finished with it, I do the splits. I think that shows that I need more therapy and less caffeine.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I think that shows you’re smoking something other than tobacco. Either that or you’ve invented a new Olympic sport.

      Reply
  5. Ann Koplow

    I couldn’t tell from this post whether you smoke a cigar, Chris. If you do, I assume you would hold it open-heartedly.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      When I was younger I occasionally smoked cigars. A friend gave me a Cuban cigar he’d smuggled out of Guatemala and after one puff I understood why they’re so highly prized.
      I find, though, that cigar smoke drives people away, and I’d rather have a good conversation than the best cigar.

      Reply

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