All right everybody, I want to start hearing some ideas. This is an important account and I really want the best of each of you for this. Let’s pull together as a team and come up with something. I know we can do it. We just need to answer one simple question: how do we sell Mars? I know. It’s really a hard sell. It’s cold, it’s dry, and there’s nothing there.
Kevin if you make a joke like that about my wife again I’ll fire you on the spot. I’m not kidding around.
Here’s what I’m thinking: we need a theme. We need to figure out what people associate with Mars and build around that. I know in some ways that makes it even harder. We’re definitely not selling the whole bringer-of-war thing. That just doesn’t go over with anybody. At least that means we can scratch some things off the list, like the War Of The Worlds theme. Let’s go ahead and get rid of that because that’s going to scare off people.
No, I don’t think Martians would work well either. No, not even friendly Martians. There’s just no way to do that without putting somebody in a suit, and green-skinned people running around could offend a major demographic. No, I don’t know which one, but, look, it just doesn’t strike the right chord. Besides we haven’t got that much of a budget to work with and hiring actors would eat up most of it. No, drawings of Martians wouldn’t work either. Let’s just get rid of the whole Martian idea, okay?
Now there’s an idea. An Edgar Rice Burroughs theme. How would that work?
Okay, I like where you’re going with this. Princesses, warriors, weird dog things. I don’t want to shoot this down but I feel like it’s still too much of a war theme. Is there some way we can tone it down so that it’s not so aggressive? Maybe there’s another angle we can take on this.
Yeah, I don’t think “get naked on Mars” is gonna sell.
Oh, well, we’ve already got extreme sports covered. Trust me, there are wannabe athletes all over Mars already. Big canyons, big mountains, and gravity one-third of Earth’s? The extreme sports angle pretty much sells itself, but that’s not enough.
What we really need is something that’s family-friendly. How do we promote Mars as a vacation destination, a place the kids want to go? What we really need is cross-generational appeal.
What’s that? A Bradbury theme—yes! This is what we need. It’s got all kinds of potential. It’s artsy and interesting but also homey. The Midwest on Mars. We could really sell this as a whole Mars and apple pie thing. No irony either. Think about it. We could have slogans like “The place you’ve never been is the one you used to love.” Or something. We need to find ways to tie together the future and the past. That’s what Mars is all about, isn’t it? This is great. I’ve got a really good feeling about this. Mars as a place where you drink lemonade and go barefoot.
No, I know you can’t go barefoot there. It’s just an expression. Let’s get started writing some copy. Have the design team come up with some poster ideas. Maybe they’ll even want us to do a television campaign for this. The idea is that good. It really is.
This is big, people. This deal could really be our ticket. From here we could go on to even bigger things. Like what? Well, I don’t want to jinx it but I hear the next big thing is going to be Uranus.
All right, Kevin, that’s it. Clear out your desk. You’re out of here.