There are a lot of different paths I can take to the bus stop. That’s one of the advantages of being a pedestrian: I can cross parking lots, greenways, weave all over sidewalks, cut through parking garages, and even jaywalk if I want to. But there are also places where I’m hemmed in. Once I start down a particular path there are locked buildings, fences, walls. If I decide to go another way I have to go all the way back the way I came and then I’m gonna be late for the bus and I’m getting tired just writing this run-on sentence.
I don’t mind taking a detour if I have to but the other day this happened.
In case it’s not clear the whole sidewalk on the right side has been blocked off for about six months now for some kind of construction that the crew doesn’t seem to be in any great hurry to finish. And now there’s some kind of construction on the left side of the street.
There was no easy way around it. I had to backtrack several blocks and if you’d been with me on that detour and heard what I said you might have thought I was suffering from de Tourette’s.
Am laughing out loud! I like you even more now. (And hurray! I’m the first to comment!)
Congratulations! I’m glad I could make you laugh out loud.
GAH. Those kind of days are the worst. Doesn’t it seem like stuff like that happens when you’ve already had to deal with three hundred other life “detours”?? I would have touretted up the place, too.
Fuckin’ great post, Chris.
I’m so fuckin’ glad you enjoyed it. And that reminds me of a great George Carlin story. His book Last Words was co-written with Tony Hendra (who also played Spinal Tap‘s manager, but that’s another story). Carlin called one day and Hendra’s teenage son Liam answered. Carlin said, “Hey, Liam, how the fuck are ya?” And Liam replied, “I’m fuckin’ great, George, how the fuck are you?”
The word sounds great in every accent.
That might be because of its (allegedly) diverse background, since it’s been theorized the word has deep Indo-European roots.
Ahhhh, nothing beats a good F-bomb. There’s just no substitute. Truly it is one of life’s finer pleasures.
And sometimes no other word will do. Damn, I just remembered Buddy Hackett’s joke that if you drop an anvil on your foot you’re not going to say “Spring is here!”
I’m the F-bomb queen, so I totally get it. My son learned to swear from listening to me as I drive. Ironically, the people I work with don’t believe I EVER swear!
One of these days something’s gonna happen and you’re gonna drop a big ol’ F-bomb in the middle of a meeting. I just know it. And I wish I could be there because the reactions of your co-workers will be hilarious.
I never swear in public (because in my previous job I worked with children & the community) but in the privacy of my home/car I have occasionally been known to curse like a drunken sailor when overly provoked by circumstance. I’m usually a proponent of a wide vocabulary, so I like “f*ck” best when it’s the well-chosen spice of a sentence rather than the main ingredient. But sometimes one just has to curse like a character in a Kevin Smith or Quentin Tarantino movie, or a PG-13 F-Bomb Supercut.
I love the expression “salty language” because sometimes that’s what it is. Sometimes bland, tasteless words just won’t do and you have to get spicy. And I think that’s also the value of holding back the urge to swear like a drunken sailor around children or in community settings. Some words should be saved for special occasions.
Although I do kind of envy those people who can swear so casually they can get away with it anytime.
I think British and Irish people can get away with it better. Or, at least, I think it sounds better in an English, Scots, or Irish accent.
Everything sounds better in an English, Scots, or Irish accent, doesn’t it? Once when I was in Edinburgh a guy came up to me on the street and started talking to me and I didn’t want to sound like a jackass but I was sorely tempted to say, “I have no clue what you’re saying but please keep talking!”
I’m pretty sure my city specifically does all their road work and development planning so that at any given time both my standard and my alternate commutes pass through at least three major construction zones.
Fuckin’ Vancouver…
If you hadn’t specified I would have guessed fuckin’ Atlanta which has been continually under construction since 1865. Hey, both cities hosted the Olympics. I wonder if that has anything to do with it. Once the events are all over the construction seems to go on.
Well, fuckin A, that was a lot of fucks there.