Pop quiz: Hat or fruit?
Each question is worth a completely arbitrary three points to put unreasonable pressure on you to do math after you’ve finished.
75-150 points: Your elegant and fashionable dinner parties are intricate and well-planned in a way that makes everyone else insecure and uncomfortable. Who even knows what a shrimp fork is anymore?
60-74 points: You watch a lot of those fashion and cooking competition shows, don’t you?
45-59 points: Excellent guesswork. You win and may take a prize from the treasure box on the desk at the front of the room.
27-44 points: Still within the ballpark. You may take a pencil from the shoebox next to the chalkboard at the back of the room.
8.5-26 points: You knew most of this stuff at one time but like the quadratic formula you knew you’d never use it so you forgot it. You may take two prizes from the treasure box on the desk at the front of the room.
3-8.4 points: Please hand in the pencil you took from the shoebox next to the chalkboard at the back of the room when you came in. You shouldn’t be allowed to have anything sharp.