Pop Quiz.

musicYou have one hour to finish the test. If you feel you need more time you have thirty minutes to finish the test.

 

 

  1. Why do fools fall in love?
    a. Love is tricky
    b It makes the floor slippery
    c. Ask all my exes
    d. THEY’RE FOOLS!
  2. What’s love got to do with it?
    a. Everything
    b. Nothing
    c. It makes the world go ’round
    d. Ask a fool
  3. Who’s that girl?
    a. Madonna
    b. Sean Penn
    c. Is this a trick question?
    d. Marlo Thomas
  4. Who let the dogs out?
    a. What dogs?
    b. They did it themselves. They’re very smart.
    c. My housesitter! That’s it. He’s fired.
    d. Say that again and I will cut you.
  5. Where have all the flowers gone?
    a. They died. Should’ve planted perennials.
    b. Young girls have picked them every one. Fools.
    c. It’s now a parking lot.
    d. They got a new job and moved to Poughkeepsie.
  6. What’s the frequency Kenneth?
    a. 4.68 megaherz with a repeating cycle
    b. About every four minutes
    c. Pre-set on my car radio
    d. For the last time my name is Kevin.
  7. Who are you?
    a. Who is anyone?
    b. Anyone you want me to be.
    c. Knock knock. Wait, what?
    d. Do you really want to know?
  8. Do you know the way to San Jose?
    a. Yes
    b. No
    c. It’s a long way to Tipperary.
    d. No, but I’ll check my GPS
  9. How can you mend a broken heart?
    a. Time wounds all heels.
    b. With new Monster Glue(TM)!
    c. Try a little tenderness.
    d. You can’t, fool!
  10. What becomes of the brokenhearted?
    a. They move on.
    b. They binge on tequila and ice cream
    c. Medication helps
    d. Only farted
  11. Why don’t we do it in the road?
    a. Sure
    b. It’s rush hour.
    c. Um, we can afford a hotel.
    d. At least take me to dinner and a movie first.
  12. Who’ll stop the rain?
    a. Me. I’ve got an umbrella.
    b. The weathermen.
    c. The climate
    d. We’re in the middle of a drought! What’s wrong with you?
  13. What’s so funny ’bout peace love and understanding?
    a. Nothing
    b. Everything
    c. You’re so cute.
    d. The desperate shortage of all three.
  14. Have you ever loved a woman?
    a. Yes
    b. No
    c. That’s a rather personal question.
    d. Define “loved”.
  15. Are you lonesome tonight?
    a. No
    b. I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t stood me up.
    c. I’ve got tequila and ice cream to keep me company.
    d. No, I’m Kevin. Lonesome Tonight couldn’t make it.
  16. Who wrote the book of love?
    a. It was a collaboration.
    b. Be more specific.
    c. I’ll take “Sounds like Shakespeare” for $500, Alex!
    d. Who’s on first.
  17. Will you still love me tomorrow?
    a. I guess so.
    b. Let me sleep on it.
    c. Tomorrow’s just another day.
    d. Let me get you another drink.
  18. Should I stay or should I go?
    a. Stay
    b. Go
    c. We’ve gotta get out of this place.
    d. Who invited you?
  19. Wouldn’t it be nice?
    a. If you’re into that sort of thing.
    b. I’ve tried it. It was overrated.
    c. Tomorrow’s just another day.
    d. Define “it”.
  20. What’s new pussycat?
    a. My hair. You didn’t even notice!
    b. The fact that you’re calling me pussycat.
    c. Whoa-oh-oh!
    d. Everything under the sun.

Extra credit:

How long to the point of no return?

a. Two miles

b. Three blocks that way, then turn left.

c. About thirty years behind us.

d. If train A leaves Chicago going 75mph and train B leaves Poughkeepsie going 80mph and train B overtakes train A in Des Moines what is the capitol of Nebraska?

answerkey

8 Comments

  1. educationalmentorship

    Hilarious, Chris!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      All right, you’re invited to my next house party.

      Reply
  2. Gina W.

    Heehee. This made me giggle the whole way through. I wanted to answer every single letter choice for each question though. Not sure what that says about me. Personal favorite– number 10. You had me at “farted”.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Yeah, I just couldn’t resist throwing in a reference to some graffiti I’ve seen many times.

      Reply
  3. Margot

    Hysterically funny quiz! Since I got a 61, which is right on the border, I think you should make me a cheeseburger at your next house party, which I will eat during my 20 minute break from being your special guest DJ. I’d like my burger cooked medium, please, with blue cheese and bacon.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      One ground kobe beef patty with Stilton and prosciutto on an artisanal Kaiser roll coming up. Now spin some Safety Dance, extended remix.

      Reply
  4. Ann Koplow

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrZf3vRHmkw

    Is it Chris or Christopher?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Either one is fine by me. When I was very young I preferred Christopher, then switched to preferring just Chris until I stayed with a French family and liked my full name with an accent. Now I’m happy to be called at all.

      Reply

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