Katie Bar The Door.

So Shakespeare walks into a bar and the bartender says, “You can’t come in here! You’re Bard!”

That’s from my ever-growing collection of “walks into a bar” jokes and something I thought of when I saw this list for the Half Moon Pub in London which has creative names for some of its patrons.

barredSource: Twitter user @djsantero

Oh yeah, I also thought about the time I was barred from a nearby bar. That prompted me to walk to another one roughly half a mile farther away which was fine because the people were nicer, the pizza was better, and I needed the exercise.

The only part of the experience that has left me bitter is that I didn’t get a creative nickname. So how you do think you’d be described if you got barred?

12 Comments

  1. Ann Koplow

    The only part of this experience that has left me bitter is that you didn’t explain how and why you got barred.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It was a misunderstanding with a bartender who didn’t like college folk coming into his bar in spite of it being two blocks from a college campus.
      If I were a better person I wouldn’t be so happy the place went bankrupt a short time later.

      Reply
      1. Ann Koplow

        If I were a better person I wouldn’t be so happy with your story.

        Reply
        1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

          Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that bar went out of business. On the bright side there were a lot of nice people who worked there who found jobs elsewhere when it closed.

          Reply
  2. halfa1000miles

    I can see my name (Crazy Linda) is already on there. They know!

    Yet again, CW…before this week I had never heard “Katy Bar” the door. I just learned it two days ago, and here it pops up.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That strange sound you keep hearing is not a drone tracking your movements. Just carry on about your business.

      Reply
  3. Margot

    That middle aged cunt who orders one pint and sips at it all damn night while complaining that the bar stool hurts her back and demanding the next available booth.

    And for fuck’s sake, touch up your roots! It looks like you have a giant, white spider on your head.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Gracious, would you like some pepper with that salt? And you make looking like you’ve got a giant spider on your head sound like a bad thing.

      Reply
  4. Chuck Baudelaire

    I believe it would be “Dances with Coat-racks.”

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Pics or it didn’t happen.

      Reply
  5. mydangblog

    A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring that thing in here!” And the duck answers, “What do you want me to do about it? He’s stuck to my ass!”

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Fantastic. That one’s going into my collection, right there next to this one:
      A pirate with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Hey, where’d you get that thing?”
      The parrot says, “The Caribbean. There’s a ton of ’em down there.”

      Reply

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