The Bird Is Not The Only Word.

Alternatives to Turducken™

Cowpiggish

Saltuckerel

Kalcarmmber*

Soybami*

Flagoosam

Olive loaf*

Buffalog

*Vegan

turkey

10 Comments

  1. Paula

    I would like to see pictures of all of these. I feel most comfortable choosing off menus with pictures. Or pointing at someone else and asking, “What is he having?” Buffets are good also except for the germ factor.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s funny you mention buffets because one summer I worked at a restaurant stocking the breakfast bar in the mornings which then turned into the salad bar in the afternoons and evenings. The germ factor didn’t just come from other people. It’s a shocking secret that we’d sometimes set out the same food two days running. And we used kale as a garnish, before it became hip to eat it, and would use the same kale for up to three days.

      Reply
      1. Paula

        I worked at a pizza place with salad a bar. In the mornings we would fill the previous day’s containers then dump them upside down into a clean container. This was in the eighties, before I had kids, before I developed a germ phobia. Would you ever have imagined kale becoming an actual food?

        Reply
        1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

          Not only did I never imagine kale becoming actual food I never imagined I’d eat it and like it, but I have. Funny how the world turns.

          Reply
  2. Margot

    A cowpiggish sounds delicious but I wonder how you’d roast something that large. Vegan olive loaf?

    I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually looked a couple of these up.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’m surprised some of these don’t exist already–at least not on the commercial market. I haven’t checked but some of these might be found in ancient Roman or medieval cookbooks.
      And what can be more vegan than a loaf made of olives?

      Reply
  3. Ann Koplow

    Fabulamazerrific.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Commentazing.

      Reply
  4. Gilly Maddison

    Is this a protest against the perversity of Turducken? I know this might offend meat-eaters (I don’t mean to) but on a personal level, I can’t bear the thought of raising and killing animals for us to eat. I have been vegetarian since I was a baby. I rejected meat by spitting it out no matter how finely my mother minced it. Later, when I knew what meat was, it made me physically sick to contemplate eating other creatures. So when I heard about the trend for stuffing various birds into other birds, I felt it was another grotesque example of the lengths man will go to to make eating more exciting. To me it is just food pornography. I don’t actually get many of these, it’s going right over my thick head! Maybe lost in translation from US to UK. 🇺🇸 🇬🇧.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Some of these require some thought regardless of which side of the Atlantic you’re on, but I understand your feelings regarding meat. This was a protest against the perversity of Turducken although the practice of stuffing one animal inside another is hardly new–it goes back at least as far as the Romans. And as with so many things they did I don’t think they really enjoyed it. It was just their way of showing off.

      Reply

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