Das Bus.

Look carefully and you can see the water dripping. What kind of bonehead designs an emergency exit that leaks?

When I got the bus stop it was starting to rain, but this didn’t bother me because I had an umbrella. It was just a few drops, and the weather report had said there was a 50% chance of precipitation which always tickles me because that sounds like the weather reporters are really hedging their bets, but then someone always has to get pedantic and tell me that they’re 100% sure it will rain and that it’s expected to cover about 50% of the area which takes the fun out of it, but that’s another story.

I walked down the street to the next bus stop where there were some trees and a business with an awning that I could stand under if the rain got really bad, which it did. It started to really pour. It was like I was standing behind a waterfall and a woman who worked in the shop asked if I’d like to come in, which was nice because I was getting wet from the spray and I’m pretty sure the awning was eroding. And then the bus arrived and thankfully there was a stop sign there so I ran out into the rain and knocked on the door, then pounded on the door, then I had to run around to the front of the bus and jump up and down in front of the driver because he couldn’t hear anything over the rain and the way it was coming down I’m surprised he could see anything, but he opened the door and I ran in, swiped my bus pass, and went right to the back of the bus because I was cold and wet and the backseat sits right on the engine so it’s usually warm, and also there was no one back there. And then as everyone picked up their oars and started rowing and the bus lurched forward I realized the reason no one was in the back was because there was an emergency hatch in the roof and it was leaking. So I moved to a seat closer to the front which meant I had to help row, but I didn’t mind as long as we were going forward, or at least taking me closer to home, and it didn’t matter that I’d left my umbrella at the shop because this was umbrella-destroying rain. And I remembered that when I was a kid I thought humidity could never reach 100% because I thought 100% humidity was solid water, but then I learned that it was really just the maximum amount of water the atmosphere could hold, but maybe I’d been right all along because by now the bus driver was looking through a periscope and all the stop announcements were in German and I was seriously starting to wonder that I was going to have to leave through a torpedo tube.

And then, amazingly, by the time we got to the stop where I got off, the sun had come out and I wished I had my umbrella to protect me from the glare.

 

8 Comments

  1. Ann Koplow

    That new information about the weather report did take the fun out of it, Chris, but thanks for putting lots of fun into this post.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thank you for a comment that, as always, helped put the fun in this blog.

      Reply
  2. Allison

    Oh, Nashville! You fickle thing, you! I have screwed up several times in the past week with the weather – I put the dog outside (in a kennel with a roof and a dogloo inside it) on the days it rained and left her inside on bright sunny days…sigh

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Your poor dog. Maybe she should just stay inside all the time. Ours do most of the time but they enjoy going out even when it’s raining, and I can’t quite get them to understand that even though I feel compelled to stand out there with them while they take care of business they should do it quickly out of consideration for me, because I do mind standing around in the rain.

      Reply
  3. Arionis

    Did you get your umbrella back or just write it off?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I just wrote it off. Umbrellas seem to be like pens: I can always find an abandoned one somewhere.

      Reply
  4. Jay

    The leaky bus was probably just tempering your expectations. Don’t want you getting too cozy when you’re going to have to dash home in the downpour!

    The radio this morning kept telling what a bright and beautiful day it was, sunny and warm, and I suppose it might have been, I was unable to locate a sun amid all the fog, which no one mentioned.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That’s it! The bus was preparing me for the damp dash. I kind of like fog too. It’s a nice way to start each day with the world swathed in a certain cloudy mystery. And then when the sun does get high enough it burns it all away.

      Reply

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