Window Seat.

I like the window seat. In fact I prefer the window seat, even on airplanes, in spite of the possibility that on a long flight I might need to go the bathroom and potentially inconvenience the person sitting next to me, but that’s never happened. Maybe if I flew first class where they give you unlimited beverages and fresh fruit and play soothing waterfall sounds it would be a problem, but I usually fly steerage where the one ersatz soft drink and package of salty pretzels has never been enough to even wake up my bladder. The only time I’ve ever had a problem with my seat on an airplane is when we flew over the Grand Canyon and the captain tilted the plane so everyone on the left side could get a good look. I was on the right side and all I got a good look at was clouds and sky and tried to ask him if he could circle back around, but that’s another story.

On the bus I like the window seat too, but it bugs me that most buses are now covered with advertisements. Sure, they’re perforated so I can see through, and if I wanted to stick my tongue out or make other rude gestures at drivers going by they probably couldn’t see me. The seats on the bus sit higher than most cars so I get to look down on people in their cars and think, “Playing Words With Friends, eh? Did you notice the light changed?” And I like to watch the neighborhoods and businesses roll by. Things are always changing and it’s fun to see a new business or building going in or sad to see an old one go.

Still I get it that in order for public transportation to continue serving the public it has to be profitable and that fares–currently $1.75 per person–don’t come close to covering even fuel. So buses get to be moving billboards, mostly advertising lawyers which sometimes makes me wonder if I could sue for an unobstructed view. I’d probably have better luck against the airline for depriving me of a view of the Grand Canyon.

This post brought to you by DuBrow’s Hard Gravy. Celebrate summer responsibly by pouring it over fruit or your other favorite foods. Or drink it straight from the can. As long as you don’t sue us we don’t care.

 

8 Comments

  1. Arionis

    I’m a window guy too. It’s automatic for me to go to the bathroom at the airport at the very last minutes so I can settle into my window seat and not get up until my seat mates have collected their bags from the overhead at our destination. As much as I like beer, I avoid it on airplanes in order not to have to go to the closet they call a bathroom. On a separate note, there have been a few times I forgot to unbuckle my seatbelt before trying to stand up, only to be whipped right back down in the seat. How embarrassing.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I think we’ve all had the seatbelt accident. The funny thing about avoiding beer on airplanes is my, er, functions seem to shut down when I’m in the air. Or at least they used to. Many, many years ago I was flying British Air which, at the time, had free alcohol for all passengers. And it was a seven-hour flight. I had a couple of whiskies before we even left the tarmac, a couple more after liftoff, a couple of beers with lunch, then another whisky or two and then was unconscious for the rest of the flight and didn’t have to use the bathroom until we were on the ground.

      Reply
  2. Spoken Like A True Nut

    This past winter I rode a bus featuring a large ad involving a woman looking adoringly down at her daughter. Like you I usually hate ads that obscure the windows, but this one had me in stitches because from the inside of the glass only the woman’s face was visible, and sans-daughter she now appeared to be staring directly, mirthfully down…at the crotch of the man occupying the window seat.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s the little things that make life, or at least riding the bus, enjoyable. Tableaux like that don’t come along often but they’re greatly appreciated when they do.

      Reply
  3. Ann Koplow

    If you ever deprive us of the view of new posts, Chris, I’m going to sue.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I shall do my best then to make sure you never feel compelled to seek remuneration from me.

      Reply
  4. Jay

    I’m always hyper conscious when a bus is idling beside me that all the passengers can look down into my little bubble – never more true than when I put the top down on my convertible!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Just as a matter of courtesy I never give more than a glance to people in the adjacent vehicles, but the fact that you drive a convertible reminds me of the time a kid on the bus threw a mostly full milkshake into the open sunroof of a car in the next lane. Not only was it a terrible thing to do to the driver it was a horrible waste of a milkshake.

      Reply

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