To-Do List.

At home Billy Joel maintains a large garden and does many of the household chores himself. “It’s very relaxing,” he says, “and helps me take my mind off the big things for a while.”

-Philadelphia Post, June 31, 2017

Mow the lawn, pull some weeds, time to plant the spring seeds,

Patch the brickwork, seal the deck, now replace the back door screen,

Cut the bushes, prune the trees, thank goodness for a cool breeze,

Paint the shutters, fill the feeders, trimmer needs more gasoline.

Yell at squirrels, mulch the beds, why are all my roses dead?

Move the rocks, spray for pests, time to take a little rest,

Clean the gutters, feed the soil, now the mower needs some oil,

Spray the rails, step on snails, watch out for that wasp nest!

I didn’t start the dryer!

The clothes are in the washer and they’re full of water.

I didn’t start the dryer!

Don’t know how I missed it, I had it listed.

Cut the lettuce, pull the beans, squash is looking real keen,

Now it’s time to hoe the row, zucchini is a no-show.

Check the pumpkins and the chard, broccoli is really hard,

Onions, those are beets, when did I plant cilantro?

Cabbages should start to sprout, marigolds keep rabbits out.

Cauliflower’s growing great and I think I saw a snake.

Peppers are up in smoke, I thought this was an artichoke,

Get the sprinkler and the rake, this tomato is a beefsteak!

I didn’t start the dryer!

I did the laundry so it’s ready.

I didn’t start the dryer!

Don’t know how I missed it, I had it listed.

Hang some pictures, make ‘em straight, and the foyer’s looking great,

Clean the blinds, take down the drapes, throw away those plastic grapes,

Get the polish, move some chairs, put new carpet on the stairs.

Clean the windows and the panes, time to get more duct tape.

Time to clean the fireplace, chaise lounge takes too much space,

Make a list for the store, put the flashlight in the dresser drawer,

Dust the table, feed the fishes, gotta wash those dinner dishes.

Scrub the toilet, mop the floor, I can’t take this anymore!

I didn’t start the dryer!

I did the laundry so it’s ready.

I didn’t start the dryer!

Don’t know how I missed it, I had it listed.

The laundry needs tending

Because it’s never ending,

I didn’t start the dryer!

I did the laundry so it’s ready.

I didn’t start the dryer!

Don’t know how I missed it, I had it listed.

17 Comments

  1. Ann Koplow

    Chris,
    Your blog is on my list
    of what cannot be missed
    I really must insist,
    If missed, I would be pissed.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Ann,
      Your comments are always fun,
      And it makes me happy to read every one.

      Reply
  2. halfa1000miles

    Ha, brilliant! Love this.

    My teenagers had made up a song to this tune about pot one time.

    Weed didn’t get me higher,
    though I smoked a lot, it was sucky pot…

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That’s fantastic. And who says pot is bad for you? Obviously it fosters creativity.

      Reply
  3. Jay

    Wow, I’m really losing touch with pop music.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Even worse I think it’s been about a quarter of a century since Billy Joel could be described as “pop music”, but, hey, a lunatic might be just what you’re looking for.

      Reply
  4. Katterfox

    I have no words other than wow.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Yeah, I think Billy Joel and I used up all the words already.

      Reply
  5. mydangblog

    Sounds like summertime in Canada!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Some things really are universal. Forgetting to start the dryer is one of them.

      Reply
  6. Allison Everett

    We wrote a version of this at my last company. We also wrote a version of The Gambler called “The Trainer”:

    You’ve got to know when to Hampton/
    Know when to Hilton.
    Sign up for double points/
    Eat on the run.

    You can always count on Myron/
    To mess up your expenses.
    There’ll be time enough for Myron/
    When your training’s done.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That’s amazing and the funniest part about it is I can tell so much about Myron just from those few lines.

      Reply
    2. Arionis

      Perfect timing. I was just having it out with my travel department that messed up my expenses. It wasn’t Myron I was talking to but now I will call everyone in travel department that. Stealing this!

      Reply
  7. Arionis

    Awesome! How long did it take you to come up with that?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Well, it started with my going to sleep and remembering I hadn’t started the dryer…

      Reply
  8. Gilly Maddison

    So have you started the dryer now Chris? 😀 Much more fun to forget it and write a poem instead! Very entertaining.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’m afraid I’m a bit behind in catching up on comments so the dryer has been run several times.

      Reply

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