Just Saying.

According to an old saying fish and houseguests start to stink after three days, although that seems like a pretty fishy saying to me because ideally fish should be cleaned, gutted, and served all in the same day and the same goes for houseguests, and neither should be warmed up in the office microwave. That saying obviously predates modern refrigeration and freezing techniques which mean you can keep fish for a lot longer than three days, especially if it’s the stick variety, and if your houseguests are stinking after three days that’s when you should start dropping really strong hints that they’re welcome to use the shower and they can even use those fancy little soaps that are there for, you know, guests.

That saying has been attributed to Benjamin Franklin who also famously said that a penny saved is a penny earned which is even more ridiculous because the only way you can earn a penny by saving a penny is if you’re getting a one-hundred percent return on your investment, and if you are I’d really like to know where you’re putting your money because I’d like to put in my two cents.

Also while we’re on the subject I’d like to change it entirely and point out that just because you lie down with dogs you won’t get up with fleas and even if you do maybe you’re the one who had the fleas to begin with and now you’ve given them to your dogs. And while most of what goes up will come down sooner or later so far the Voyager spacecraft is zooming along through space with no sign of coming down, and also to get back to the fish there’s another saying that if you give a man a fish he’ll eat for a day, although I think it depends on the size of the fish because if it’s a really big fish then maybe you can feed him for up to three days before it starts to stink. And the saying goes on that if you teach a man to fish you’ll feed him for a lifetime. Maybe that was true at one time but now if you teach a man to fish you’ll just encourage him to need to buy a permit and a rod and reel and if you’ve been to the sporting goods store you know there’s at least fifteen different kinds of fishing line and expensive lures and flies, depending on what kind of fishing we’re talking about. And also that same guy you taught to fish is going to get tired of fish sooner or later and want to use that fishing rod for something else like maybe stabbing small mammals.

All this is just a reminder that everything is relative, especially when your relatives have been staying with you, and that everything you think you know is subject to change. At least that seems to be the case for now. It may be completely different tomorrow.

 

12 Comments

  1. mydangblog

    Ha ha! Excellent!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Sometimes it’s all in the saying.

      Reply
  2. Arionis

    Can always count on you for a different (and humorous) perspective on common sayings. Just remember, you can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      And you can pick your friends and you can pick a fruit but a plastic surgeon will let you pick your own nose.

      Reply
  3. Chuck Baudelaire

    I can tell it’s Friday…my reaction to “fish of the stick variety” was “what the hell is a stickfish?” Head, meet desk. Repeatedly.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It turns out there is such a thing as a stickfish. Go figure. Then again there are so many different kinds of fish you can attach pretty much any noun to “fish” and it’s out there. Heck, I bet there’s a fish fish.

      Reply
  4. BarbaraM

    Wow! I got dizzy just reading this! Another good one!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thank you. I’m still more than a little woozy just from writing it.

      Reply
  5. Ann Koplow

    I love being a guest here, Chris. I hope that doesn’t stink.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Unlike fish and houseguests your comments never stink and are always welcome.

      Reply
  6. Gilly Maddison

    I’d still rather teach someone to catch their own damn fish! Or better still, introduce them to a source if protein that doesn’t require a fishing rod or licence. 😂

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I suppose growing soy beans could be a source of protein that doesn’t require a license, although it might require a rod. I don’t know if soy beans grow up a stake or trellis like other beans.

      Reply

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