I Liebster And Never Flounder.

So a blogger who goes by the name of mydangblog, to keep worlds from colliding, gave me the gift of a Liebster Award, which tickles me, but it also puts me in a quandary. A quandary, by the way, is three dilemmas, a dilemma is four jams, a jam is a bewilderment plus a difficulty, and two quandaries equals a hornet’s nest, but that’s another story. The Liebster Award is supposed to be passed along to five others, but I don’t want to risk putting anyone else in a quagmire, and I’m also afraid of leaving someone out. Even if I just think about the blogs I try to visit daily there’s Chuck Baudelaire’s Always Drunk which is amusing and references my favorite Charles Baudelaire poem, Ann Koplow’s The Year(s) Of Living Non-Judgmentally, Kristine of Mum Revised, Arionis’s Just A Small Cog, Allison who’d rather be Whistling In The Dark, and I’m already over the limit and haven’t mentioned Anything Except Housework or Rubber Shoes In Hell. And I’m quitting now before I do any further damage by leaving deserving names out and put anyone under unwanted pressure.

The other part of the Liebster Award that I do feel somewhat qualified to handle is a series of questions that I’m pleased to find does not include “What is your favorite swear word?” I’m going to get through it quickly so I can duck out of the spotlight.

1) Why do you write?

Because I don’t have a choice. Honestly, it’s not something I do because I want to, although writing something and sharing it and having other people tell me they enjoyed it feels great, but if I were stranded on a desert island I’d probably inscribe stupid jokes on tree trunks. So the crab says, does this seem fishy?

2) Which of your own blog posts should people read if they want to really know you?

This is a question I feel should be answered by someone else because it needs an objective judgment, although I’m pretty sure no one else really knows me and this blog well enough to answer it. And sometimes it surprises me that something I really like doesn’t go over well, or sometimes I write something I think is funny that other people find scary, which I find strangely hilarious, but I do like this one, or maybe this one, or this one.

3) Best hybrid animal and why?

The chimera. Let me break that out a bit: “chimera” is a creature from mythology and also a science term for an organism that has cells from different zygotes. So, yeah, literally a hybrid at the very deepest level.

4) Flowers or chocolate?

I do enjoy chocolate but those flowers can be pretty tasty too.

5) What was your favourite childhood toy?

After a lot of thinking I’d have to say a little stuffed frog I named Quincy, and let me add that I have no idea where that name came from because this was years before I knew who Jack Klugman was. In fact I still have Quincy. I found him in a box in the attic and then one of our dogs found him and ripped his eye off, which I found strangely hilarious. And it’s why I don’t have any pictures of Quincy. He’s buried far back in the closet somewhere to escape any further indignities.

6) What is one thing about your life that you would change?

Time. I need more time. I want the time to read, watch, and listen to all the stuff out there that I want to get to. The novels of Octavia Butler, several great films and TV shows, and at least a dozen great podcasts are all things I keep trying to get to and get pulled away from by a lack of time.

7) Who is your favourite writer?

It’s a toss-up between Mark Twain and Virginia Woolf, because my two favorite books are A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur’s Court and Orlando. But I feel like I’m discovering great new writers all the time.

8) Are you crafty? (Either ‘cunning’ or ‘able to make crafts’)

Definitely not crafty in the “cunning” sense and not much of a crafter either. I go to a weekly pottery class because it helps relieve some frustration and tension, although most of my frustration and tension comes from the fact that everything I make in pottery class is stupid and terrible.

9) What movie do you like to watch over and over? Why?

My favorite movie of all time is the original Invasion Of The Body Snatchers with Kevin McCarthy. It’s fun and exciting and I also feel like it can be interpreted in so many ways. Another one I go back to regularly is an almost completely unknown film called A Bucket Of Blood, which has some personal history for me. The title’s very misleading. It’s about a failed sculptor who briefly, and tragically, becomes famous for killing people and turning their bodies into sculptures. I try not to mention it in my pottery class.

10) What makes you laugh?

Here’s my favorite joke: Two guys are photographing a lion in the wild. The lion notices them and starts to move toward them. One of the guys puts on a pair of running shoes. The other guy asks, “You really think you can outrun a lion?” The first guy says, “Forget the lion. I just need to outrun you.”
Do I have a dark sense of humor? People seem to think so, but, hey, if you can’t make light of the darkness what’s the point of laughing?

 

16 Comments

  1. Chuck Baudelaire

    Bookmarking this post, in part to say thank you for your absolutely goddamn embarrassing accolades, but also to make sure I address these questions in a future post. I love the fact that we will die in obscurity together, though we die in obscurity at all. <3

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I love the fact that we labor in obscurity together. Perhaps one day, though, you’ll be embarrassed by accolades even louder than mine.

      Reply
  2. BarbaraM

    Wasn’t A Bucket of Blood a Twilight Zone or Outer Limits episode? I remember one of them doing it…..during the beatnik era (in the program) as I recall.
    Congrats on the “award”.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      A Bucket Of Blood was a Roger Corman film, but it does sound a little like the Twilight Zone episode “The Call”.

      Reply
      1. BarbaraM

        No, I guess I did see A Bucket of Blood, because “The Call” wasn’t like that. Huh. This is what happens when you get old.

        Reply
  3. Ann Koplow

    11) Who is your favorite blog writer?

    Maybe you, Chris.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I feel greatly humbled by the thought that I might be your favorite blog writer, given how much I enjoy your blog.

      Reply
  4. mydangblog

    “What is your favourite swear word?” I can’t believe I didn’t think of that one!! Excellent answers:-)

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      My favorite part of every episode of “Inside The Actors’ Studio” was always the questions at the end that included “What is your favourite swear word?” even though almost every actor had the same answer. For the record, though, my favorite swear word is “semprini”.

      Reply
  5. Arionis

    What the what? Wow, thanks Chris! I feel my inner Sally Field coming out. You like me! You really like me! Did you know she really didn’t say it that way? She said, “I can’t deny the fact that right now you like me, you really…” see, this type of rambling is why I can’t believe you subject yourself to the minutiae of my blog. I’m am most thankful that you do though.

    Yes, you have a dark sense of humor. That’s what keeps me reading. Like Chuck, I think I’ll also answer those questions in a future post.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Since my blog is also rambling minutiae I feel we’re kindred spirits–who also happen to share the same birthday, but that’s another story. The funny thing about the questions is that technically according to the rules of the Liebster Award I was supposed to write a whole new list of questions, but I didn’t want anyone to feel obligated. I believe every person’s blog is their own personal space and while a little recognition is nice I don’t want to tell anyone else what to write about. That would be like me coming into your house and rearranging your furniture.
      And for the record my favorite swear word is “semprini”.

      Reply
  6. Jay

    You’re a strange cat.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That’s one of the nicest compliments I’ve gotten in a long time. I used to have a button, back when I wore a jacket adorned with a dozen or so buttons, that said, “What’s this cat’s story?” I wish I still had it because we all have a story.

      Reply
  7. Kristine @MumRevised

    I was really moved by http://freethinkersanonymous.com/2017/09/odd/ and it made me get to know you. As a writer, your style is so defined and uniquely yours, but when you are writing personal essays, it isn’t the style I appreciate the most, it is the man.
    Thank you so much for the shout out. Some days I wonder why I do it too and then I read your first answer and I remember. Because I have to. Not ending a sentence with a preposition that is, I have to write. You are inspiring and I thank you for the laughs, deep thoughts, and reminding me to appreciate the graffiti.
    PS: I think you know my favourite swear word.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s nice, isn’t it, to know you’re being heard when you shout into the void? And I’m going to take a wild guess that your favorite swear word is all of them.

      Reply
      1. Kristine @MumRevised

        You know me so well!

        Reply

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