The P Word.

Pick Pilkerton Premium Packing Peanuts! Perfect for packaging presents, pads, paddles, pictures, parrots, pygmies, pendants, pennants, pajamas, pulmotors, pyramids, perfume, platypuses, plankton, parasites, piglets, peacocks, probes, pangolins, pupae, platters, poboys, panzers, penicillin, pulpits, pupils, pumpkins, Puritans, Popes, pantywaists, and other paraphernalia. Prepared from pure pasteurized pasta flour and plaster Pilkerton Premium Packing Peanuts are preferred by performers, politicians’ pages and pals for parties and presentations, patricians, perfectionists, and poets laureate for perfunctory perusal by pedestrian patrons. Put away poor and pathetic packaging products that pretend parsimoniousness but pettily pilfer your pennies and leave you pensive while your parcels peradventure plod to perdition. Pass by their perniciousness peccadilloes. Pilkerton Packing Peanuts will pacify your panicked pacing. Perspicacious porters praise our platoons of people as paladins of perfection. Perspire no more, and our prices won’t leave you impecunious. Put aside prangs and pratfalls. The proof is in the pudding and a high percent of the public perches Pilkerton Premium Packing Peanuts on a pedestal.
Pause use of Pilkerton Premium Packing Peanuts if you perceive the appearance of pimples, pustules, or pyorrhea. Pilkerton Premium Packing Peanuts are preemptively purged of poisons and pests but problems may still present.
Pilkerton Packing Peanuts. Proudly produced in Poughkeepsie.

10 Comments

  1. Chuck Baudelaire

    Poop. Heh.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Reply
  2. BarbaraM

    Phew!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Fortunately I found the finale.

      Reply
  3. Allison

    Positively Perfection!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thank you. I feel like I should carry it on but, you know, I think I used up all my P’s. Now I just need to mind my Q’s.

      Reply
  4. Jay

    Particularly and positively pleasant.
    (not to mention impressive)

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Having heard the hails I am happy to have harbored such…um, yeah, I can’t keep this up.

      Reply
  5. Ann Koplow

    Perfectly prepared, pal.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thank you for that pleasantly posited posting.

      Reply

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