Stays Quizzical In Milk.

Once upon a time lazy summer mornings meant sleeping late and lingering over a bowl of cold cereal, oblivious to the problems of the wider world. Maybe there’d be a toy in the bottom of the box of cereal. Back in 1947 a national brand of cereal gave away a million spinthariscope rings so kids could put a sample of radioactive polonium right up their eye, but that’s another story. After breakfast there’d be time for a barefoot walk through the tall grass, far away from the urgent ringing of a phone. Then back home for a tuna fish sandwich and my boss yelling, “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? THE SHAREHOLDERS ARE EXPECTING THE QUARTERLY EARNINGS REPORT!”

In memory of those bygone halcyon days of last week when summer mornings were long and leisurely here’s a pop quiz:

Breakfast Cereal Or Subatomic Particle?

1. Zings
2. Muesli
3. Pion
4. Quark
5. Quisp
6. Baryon
7. Freakies
8. Positron
9. Neutrino
10. Chex
11. Kix
12. Trix
13. Asterix
14. Lepton
15. Maypo

Scoring:

13-15: You’ve used the CERN Large Hadron Collider to make oatmeal.

10-12: Neutrons are part of your complete breakfast.

7-9: You’ve used a spinthariscope to make toast.

3-5: You know you can’t put too much water in a nuclear reactor.

1-2: You should be kept away from smoke alarms and sharp objects like spoons.

 

 

4 Comments

  1. Red

    I’m not sure if it attests to my nerdiness or my childlike love of breakfast cereals, but I got 15/15! Where’s the prize from the bottom of this box?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      The prize is bragging rights. Not worth much, I know, but it’s better than one of those baking soda submarines that goes up and down.

      Reply
  2. Ann Koplow

    I know you can’t put too much oatmeal in the CERN Large Hadron Collider.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      This comment has given me an incandescent glow. I hope it’s not radiation.

      Reply

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