It’s that time of year again—specifically the time of year that makes my wife ask, “How old are you?” And she’s got a point. It’s one thing to eat an entire box of sugary cereal when you’re young—say, thirty-seven—but it gets more difficult as the years go by and I think more and more about my health. This is especially true of the Monster Cereals. Boo Berry turns the milk a bluish color, Frankenberry turns the milk pink, and Count Chocula makes the milk a pale brown, all of which, these days, makes me think of various bodily fluids. And also a little glad that they haven’t brought back Yummy Mummy or my personal favorite Fruit Brute because multicolored milk is more than I can handle on some mornings depending on what the night before was like, but that’s another story.
And then of course once all the cereal bits are gone and there’s nothing but colored milk left I tip up the bowl and drink, because I’m still young enough to do that, and expect to be for at least six or seven more decades.
Anyway I hope I haven’t ruined the annual return of the Monster Cereals for anyone because 18.1 ounces may not sound like much, but that’s dry weight and also more than half a kilogram, and at my age I could really use some help finishing all this.