“Yes, Have Some!”

It’s that time of year again—specifically the time of year that makes my wife ask, “How old are you?” And she’s got a point. It’s one thing to eat an entire box of sugary cereal when you’re young—say, thirty-seven—but it gets more difficult as the years go by and I think more and more about my health. This is especially true of the Monster Cereals. Boo Berry turns the milk a bluish color, Frankenberry turns the milk pink, and Count Chocula makes the milk a pale brown, all of which, these days, makes me think of various bodily fluids. And also a little glad that they haven’t brought back Yummy Mummy or my personal favorite Fruit Brute because multicolored milk is more than I can handle on some mornings depending on what the night before was like, but that’s another story.

For that price it should be in perfect condition.
But not “mint condition” because mint is terrible flavor for cereal.

And then of course once all the cereal bits are gone and there’s nothing but colored milk left I tip up the bowl and drink, because I’m still young enough to do that, and expect to be for at least six or seven more decades.

Everyone except Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy.

Anyway I hope I haven’t ruined the annual return of the Monster Cereals for anyone because 18.1 ounces may not sound like much, but that’s dry weight and also more than half a kilogram, and at my age I could really use some help finishing all this.

12 Comments

  1. Kristine @mumrevised

    The problem with sugary cereal is not the milk turning colours, it is eating an entire box dry before I reach the fridge for the milk. This makes them just too scary to keep in the house.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That’s a problem for me too–eating sugary cereals dry. With the Monster Cereals I can never resist pulling out the “marshmallows” to see what they taste like by themselves. Again and again. And I pull out the other bits to see if I can distinguish different tastes.

      Reply
  2. mydangblog

    I eat Corn Pops every morning and I don’t care who judges me for it! Now I’m going to have to see if they sell Booberry in Canada!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I hope they do sell Booberry in Canada. Canadians have a wonderful sense of humour so I’m sure it would be appreciated up there. Although I’m kind of tickled that your preferred breakfast is Corn Pops.

      Reply
  3. BarbaraM

    I was a Frosted Flakes fan for many years (still am). Now I’ve found Cinnamon Toast Crunch and couldn’t be happier. Well, maybe if I mixed those two together instead of the Raisin Bran that I use to make me feel like an adult. As much as I love chocolate, I couldn’t get past the brown milk, so even as a kid, wouldn’t even try them. Fortunately I was already too “old” for all those Monster Cereals so I never got addicted. And mydangblog – are you old enough to remember when those were “Sugar Pops” and not Corn Pops? Now those were delicious and probably the reason I had to see a dentist every month!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      “Sugar Pops” were my usual breakfast as a kid until my mother read a book about sugar and hyperactivity and switched me over to sugar-free cereals. And weirdly enough I’m old enough to remember when Nashville had a theme park called Opryland and when Opryland struck up a deal with General Mills and Count Chocula and Frankenberry wandered the park frightening small children.
      Good times.

      Reply
  4. Jay

    They don’t have most of those in Canada but last year I picked a whole bunch up on a trip south and offered them at our Halloween film festival. It got eaten very quickly.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’m glad to know the Monster Cereals got eaten very quickly. Maybe we should start exporting them. That’d help bring them back–even in October the Monster Cereals are kind of hard to find around here.
      Then again I wouldn’t blame Canada for putting steep tariffs on imported breakfast cereal.

      Reply
  5. Ann Koplow

    This post is super, sweet, and very good for us, Chris.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’m glad even the junk food I offer can be nutritious.

      Reply
  6. Bryce Warden

    I went to visit my brother a few weeks ago in Maine. I had a small apartment to myself for 3 days so I stopped at the food store for “necessities”. I bought myself a box of Capt’n Crunch. Sadly it didn’t taste as good as I remembered by I still managed to chow down on most of the box. My favorite as a kid was King Vitamin – similar to the Capt’n but enough of a difference for a discerning palate…

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      And King Vitamin is at least nominally more healthy. Breakfast cereals, though, remain one of those areas where I find it’s impossible to go home again–even when the cereal is still available. So many I remember from childhood have disappeared.

      Reply

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