Today Is A Good Day To Diet.

Are you looking for ways to eat healthy and lose weight, or at least avoid putting on too much, this holiday season? Here are twelve sure-fire tips to help get you through until the New Year.

 

Add more fiber to your diet. Fall is a great time to sit around and eat an entire raw pumpkin.

 

Avoid stress. During the holidays. No, really, I’m serious about this. Hey, stop laughing!

 

Instead of going for one of those high-calorie coffee drinks fill a tall coffee mug with water. For an added touch put a big wad of whipped cream on top of it.

 

Avoid distracted eating. When that coworker comes to tell you the story of something that happened to the cousin of one of her son’s friends for the third time put away the pork rinds and just squeeze a stress ball under your desk.

 

Partner up with a friend who has similar weight loss goals because misery loves company. On second thought this might not be a good idea because I’ve heard misery also loves chocolate cheesecake.

 

Use a smaller plate, especially at holiday parties. And if you’re holding your plate at chest level and the pile of food you’ve made reaches your neck it’s time to stop.

 

Eat something before you go to a holiday party. And, really, you’re probably already doing this if you know Aunt Louise is bringing her “famous” mackerel casserole.

 

Your body burns more calories when it’s cold. Instead of suiting up for the weather go jogging naked.

 

Try our new Impossible Carrot™! It looks like a real carrot, tastes like a real carrot, and even crunches like a real carrot. Is it good enough to fool real vegans? Let’s find out and see what happens when we tell them it’s made with 100% yak liver!

 

You’re probably doing most of your shopping online, but fill up some department store bags with garbage and go walk around the mall parking lot after dark. When you get mugged they’ll be stealing garbage! This doesn’t have anything to do with weight loss. It’s just really funny.

 

Freeze leftovers. Your body burns more calories when it’s cold and a really great way to cool down is to eat frozen cheese dip.

 

Move to southern California where people often complain that the warm weather makes it hard for them to hide the holiday pounds under layers of clothing. That kind of superficiality can kill your appetite.

 

Instead of egg nog try one of the other popular nogs: fruit nog, yeast nog, and clam nog.

Make weight loss part of a group activity, especially if your workplace offers a program. Get your pre-holiday weigh in on the same day as the office potluck lunch, and stuff a ream of paper down your pants before you go. This is the year you’ll win the tote bag!

 

Accept yourself. Have a piece of pie.

12 Comments

  1. Jay

    I went on a safari recently where a lot of the animals were enjoying entire raw pumpkins. Hadn’t considered it for my own benefit…

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’ve seen that at zoos they sometimes give the animals whole raw pumpkins. Some eat them and some just play with them. So even if you don’t eat it you could exercise with it.

      Reply
  2. Allison

    A few years ago, I went to serve dinner at the Nashville Mission, and it was right after Halloween, so they’d had a bunch of pumpkins donated. They cut them up, roasted them, and served them with the rest of the food for dinner. They were huge slices that took up a lot of space on the trays. They looked pretty good.

    That said, serving dinner at the mission will kill your appetite. For any number of reasons. But I was always glad after I did it.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’ve had roasted acorn squash and it’s similar to pumpkin.
      And good for you volunteering at the mission. I’ve volunteered some with Room At The Inn, and I can see what you mean about it killing your appetite but still being glad you did it.

      Reply
  3. Ann J Koplow

    I can’t stop laughing, Chris.
    Ann J Koplow recently posted…Day 2554: Mood swingsMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      As the Klingons say, nuq daq yuj da’pol!

      Reply
  4. mydangblog

    As always, great and hilarious advice—I’ll be winning that tote bag for sure!
    mydangblog recently posted…My Week 269: Launched, When Pigeons AttackMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Good luck and I’m rooting for you to win the tote bag.

      Reply
  5. Arionis

    “Your body burns more calories when it’s cold. Instead of suiting up for the weather go jogging naked.”

    Not to mention all the low calorie meals you’ll be enjoying in jail.
    Arionis recently posted…Time to Replace Some CogsMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Hey, jail is a great place to work out, from what I understand, although Eric Idle also said, “Don’t take it out in public or they’ll stick you in the dock and you won’t come back.”

      Reply
  6. Tom

    Mrs C and I have tried all of these this year already. Except the mackerel casserole. That’s just weird, man. 😉

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      If you think that’s weird try a stargazy pie.

      Reply

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