Please Continue To Hold.

Rotary cell phone. Source: http://justine-haupt.com/

Thank you for using our new faster, more efficient automated pharmacy system. We have recently updated our system to make it faster and more efficient for all clients. We hope you enjoy this faster, more efficient version as we are always looking for ways to improve the ways we serve our clients and the services we provide. Please listen to the entire menu before making your selection as the options will probably change during this message.

If you are a doctor, a doctor’s representative, or are calling from a doctor’s office to authorize a new prescription press 1.

If you are a doctor, a doctor’s representative, or are calling from a doctor’s office and are calling to check on the status of a new prescription press 2.

If you are a doctor, a doctor’s representative, or are calling from a doctor’s office to authorize a prescription refill press 3.

If you are a patient and are calling to check on the status of a new prescription press 3.

If you are a patient and are calling to check on the status of the status of a new prescription press 4.

If you are a patient and are calling to clarify what we mean by “the status of the status of a new prescription” means press 5.

If you are a patient and are calling to request a refill of a prescription that has expired please hang up and call your doctor’s office now because you’re going to have to make at least two phone calls before you can finally get an appointment to see your doctor to authorize your prescription refill.

If you wish to speak to a pharmacy representative press 6 during office hours.

If you wish to know what the office hours are press 7 during office hours.

If you know your party’s extension press it after you have pressed the pound key. We probably should say “press the pound key” first and we’ll consider making that change in a future update to our automated pharmacy system.

If your phone does not have a pound key press the hashtag button.

If you know what the star button on your phone does press it, but we won’t be responsible for what happens next.

If you are a doctor, a doctor’s representative, are calling from a doctor’s office, are a patient, or called this number for some other reason and are feeling stressed press 2256.

If you are allergic to shellfish do not press 2265.

If you are calling from a rotary phone please hang up and call back from this century.

If you are a patient and are calling to request a prescription refill press 8. We probably should have made this option 1. We’ll consider making that change in a future update to our automated pharmacy system.

If you would like to hear these options again please hang up and press whatever the redial thingy is on your phone.

If this is an emergency press 9. This will cause your phone to hang up so you can call the appropriate emergency responders.

If you would like a list of appropriate emergency responders you should probably call somebody about that.

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4 Comments

  1. Ann Koplow

    This is reminding me that I need to call my pharmacy to make sure that my medications will get delivered to my home. I better start now.
    Ann Koplow recently posted…Day 2742: CommunityMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      If your pharmacy is anything like mine the time you spend on hold will be so long by the time you get an answer you’ll have to get your prescriptions refilled again.

      Reply
  2. mydangblog

    I would have said we use the same pharmacy except when you call mine, the first thing it says is “This is the pharmacy. If you are not calling the pharmacy, hang up now. If you are calling the pharmacy, press 1.” Then it sounds like THEY’VE hung up because the ring sounds like a dial tone!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That’s bizarre. That’s just messing with people’s heads. Although it sounds like a pretty good strategy for a pharmacy–making people think they need medication.

      Reply

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