So I had a doctor’s appointment. I drove to the office, found the parking garage unusually crowded but got a space on the sixth floor, put on my mask, gave my hands a spritz with the hand sanitizer, and hit the elevator buttons with my elbows. At the office I went to check in and a nurse said, “Oh, yes, I remember you, you were here just last week.”
No, actually I hadn’t been there in six months, and last time I came in I wasn’t wearing a mask. At least I don’t think I was. Six months was ten years ago. Anyway I realized the nurse probably recognized my mask, having seen someone wearing one like it in the last week. That reminded me of the first Halloween after Star Wars came out. I went out with my friends in my C-3PO costume, which was one of those with the crappy plastic mask and the crappy and the flimsy plastic coveralls that you pulled on over your regular clothes, although at least the C-3PO costume sort of looked like C-3PO with its canary yellow color. It wasn’t one of those that had the character’s name emblazoned on the chest, as though Batman got tired of telling criminals “I’m Batman!” and just went around saying, “Read the cheap plastic smock!” I don’t remember what my friends were wearing but at one house the woman handing out candy said to me, “I saw another little boy who looked just like you!” And I sarcastically thought, but didn’t say, Lady, Star Wars came out this summer. You must have had at least a dozen Luke Skywalkers, all of ‘em with ‘Luke Skywalker’ on their cheap plastic smocks.” Then I looked in my bag and saw she was giving out Mounds bars and I went back two more times, once with another kid also in a C-3PO costume, but that’s another story.
Anyway I went into the doctor’s office and got poked, prodded, had blood drawn, and eventually got to see the doctor. I got my wiper fluid topped up and they looked under the hood. Everything checked out so I went back to the the fifth floor to the car to go home. I walked down the aisle and the car wasn’t there. It wasn’t just gone. There was a completely different car in its place. I hadn’t been in there that long but I thought maybe I’d forgotten where I was parked. I pulled out the keychain and clicked the “lock” button. I heard the car beep. I pressed it again. I heard it beep again. It was close, so close I sounded like I was right under it, but for some reason I couldn’t find it.
Did you figure out what I did? If so give yourself five—no, six—bonus points.