Light Em Up!

Jack-o-lantern: Traditional, made from a carved pumpkin with a candle or other source of illumination inside.

Dan-o-lantern: Also illuminated internally but made from a hollowed-out gourd.

Alex-o-lantern: Made from a butternut squash.

Frank-o-lantern: Uses multi-colored lights.

Kelly-o-lantern: Uses a fluorescent bulb.

Jerry-o-lantern: Has wheels.

Nick-o-lantern: Wants you to know you’ve got a really nice porch here. It’d be a shame if something happened to it.

Chad-o-lantern: Filled with dead bees.

Jason-o-lantern: Filled with live bees.

Beatrice-o-lantern: Requires neon.

Jennifer-o-lantern: Made from a pineapple.

Carl-o-lantern: Made from a grapefruit.

Catherine-o-lantern: Made from an heirloom artichoke.

Travis-o-lantern: Wants to know what you’re lookin’ at.

Larry-o-lantern: Claims to enjoy long walks on the beach.

Ray-o-lantern: Can be used to power a small digital clock.

Roger-o-lantern: Copies other lanterns.

Lion-o-lantern: Really into Thundercats cosplay.

Evelyn-o-lantern: Has a sense of humor that’s so dry it’s a fire hazard.

Alice-o-lantern: Knows the difference between flannel and gingham.

Nathan-o-lantern: Wants to know if you’ve got a good accountant.

Gertrude-o-lantern: Is a rose is a rose is a rose.

Patrick-o-lantern: Filled with live snakes.

Brad-o-lantern: Has a jaunty sweater tied around it.

Neil-o-lantern: WHOA, WE GOT A LIVE ONE HERE!

Diane-o-lantern: When paired with a Jack-o-lantern goes on long after the thrill of livin’ is gone.

Tyler-o-lantern: Shows up at potlucks with most of a bucket of chicken.

George-o-lantern: Unsuccessfully tried out for the Chicago Bears.

Irving-o-lantern: Travels extensively and is a great storyteller.

Edgar-o-lantern: Frightens children and small animals.

Mary-o-lantern: Not as many as there used to be.

Kevin-o-lantern: Goes out every Halloween and gets smashed.

 

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4 Comments

  1. mydangblog

    I have to add to this hilarious list: Karen-o-lantern: Will complain to the manager.
    mydangblog recently posted…Simple DistractionsMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That’s brilliant. I may add that to the list for next year even though I hope we see fewer Karens in 2021.

      Reply
  2. ANN J KOPLOW

    Ann-o-lantern: waits for Kevin-o-latern and, o, is not disappointed. Also, loves many of the lanterns with a steady burning light, including Nick-o-lantern, Travis-o-lantern, Diane-o-lantern, and the addition of Karen-o-lantern.
    ANN J KOPLOW recently posted…Day 2898: What do you need?My Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      The Ann-o-lantern is definitely my favorite.

      Reply

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