About The Author.

Christopher Allen Waldrop was born several years ago and has lived somewhere ever since. He is a Sagittarius, but don’t hold that against him. He’s been from Indiana to Russia and back. He speaks just enough of half a dozen languages to be unable to communicate with anyone. He picks up spiders with his bare hands but is terrified of ferrets. When the mood strikes him he files assault charges. If he didn’t run out of quarters he wouldn’t stop playing pinball. He doesn’t know what the deal is with pudding and wishes you would quit asking. He really loves his wife and is happy to be owned by multiple Dalmatians. In his spare time he breeds urinals. His friends kindly ask that you please not get him started.

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23 Comments

  1. Ann Koplow

    I’m realizing we have a lot in common, Christopher. I am also terrified of ferrets, for example. Don’t get me started.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s nice to hear that. So many try to convince me they’re wonderful pets. I suspect it’s a nefarious plot created by the ferrets.

      Reply
      1. Lynn

        Ferrets smell bad. Not much of a comment, but just trying to support you.

        Reply
  2. Ann Koplow

    Christopher, are you a lefty? Or is there another way to explain that photo?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’m a proud lefty! Are you as well?

      Reply
      1. Ann Koplow

        I procrastinated answering your question, Chris. I am a proud lefty as well.

        Reply
  3. Shawna

    I told my husband other people drink out of mason jars and I’m just too lazy to go buy some regular cups. I like filing assault charges, too. There is something so calming about the paperwork.

    Reply
    1. Shawna

      NOT too lazy. *NOT*

      Reply
      1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

        Sure–that’s what they all say.

        Reply
  4. Monica

    Hey! Let spiders alone! 🙂 I love spiders! I brought one home, but my mother was scared of him and killed him.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I love spiders too! That’s why I catch them with my bare hands. It makes it easier to carry them outside and release them. I’ve never had a pet spider but I did have a pet snake once. The best part of that was the time some burly contractors were putting down carpet, saw the snake, and told my mother, “Lady if that thing gets loose we’re outta here.”
      You’d think it would take more than a little snake to scare those guys.

      Reply
      1. Michelle

        Oh god! You are completely welcome to come around to my house and be my live-in spider remover. We get BIIIG huntsman spiders in Queensland and while I’ve been gradually learning to manage my arachnophobia (that’s code for I see so many of the things I’ve become slightly less prone to freaking right out) sometimes like last night they are just TOO. DAMN. BIG. Side plate size is too big.

        Reply
  5. Library Heather

    Random comment: I saw your recent post on another blog and recognized it immediately as being from “Sneakers” – one of my favorite movies! You will now be my new best friend.

    I also love spiders and most animals, including insects and reptiles, but I’m irrationally afraid of parrots & fuzzy caterpillars. In my house, I (rather than the hubby) am responsible for humane animal capture and relocation.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s such a delightful surprise to run into someone else who loves “Sneakers”. It’s a surprise because it seems like too few people have even heard of that film, much less seen it. I think of that as a mixed blessing, though, since if it got too popular I’m sure they’d make a terrible sequel.
      And parrots are terrifying. There’s nothing irrational about that. I’ve never been that afraid of fuzzy caterpillars, although my grandmother told me that the fuzzier they are the colder the coming winter will be.

      Reply
      1. Marlies Vonn

        Definitely agree about the parrot thing. A parrot once bit me. Kind of like “a moose once bit my sister” but it didn’t get a subtitle in a Monty Python sketch. That parrot just hopped over a took a nice little chunk out of my arm. That is all I have to say about that.

        Reply
  6. Wesley Hollifield

    I can imagine the Dalmatians are like ‘Yea he’s a good guy, I think I’ll keep him.’ Thanks for stopping by my blog I’m trying to find the follow button for yours but it has eluded me.

    Reply
    1. His wife, but not Jane

      Trust me – if the Dalmatians hadn’t approved of him, he’d be living somewhere else. Sri Lanka, maybe. Or Evansville.

      Reply
  7. halfa1000miles

    I added a page to my blog today. You’re on it.

    Bloggers have tribes — other bloggers that they both support and lean on. These are other bloggers I think you should check out and support:

    http://www.freethinkersanonymous.com – He was born several years ago and has lived somewhere ever since. (He’s very smart and I don’t even know why he puts up with us).

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That is amazing–thank you so much. It’s an honor to be so recognized by someone else who’s so smart and funny.

      Reply
  8. Ken Knudson

    I stand in awe of anyone who picks up spiders IN THEIR BARE HANDS…

    Reply
  9. Pingback: A Minute Of Your Time | A Simple, Village Undertaker

  10. Marlies Vonn

    I would love to get you started with the breeding urinals thing. A good idea when breeding urinals is to also breed signs that read “Please do not throw cigarettes in the urinals. It makes them soggy and hard to light.”

    Reply
  11. Sequitur

    I imagine you are called “Freethinkers Anonymous” because you realize it doesn’t pay to think but you don’t want anyone to know you know that.

    Reply

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