The Weekly Essay

It’s Another Story.

You’re Going to Hell

October 30, 1995

Here’s a little something I just happened to wander across in my aimless and strange meanderings. Funny, I can honestly say I haven’t done quite a few of these, but I guess one is enough to get you.


Why people are going to hell

Below is a little list I compiled a while back while arguing with a fundamentalist. He tried to make the case that the Bible condemned homosexuality and therefore, blah blah blah, I was going to hell.

This got me wondering…HOW MANY people are going to hell, anyhow? And for what? This curiosity led to the compilation of this list of exactly WHY people are going to hell.

This is not a definitive list, by any means. This is just all I could find in one afternoon.

YOU ARE GOING TO HELL IF YOU….

…eat fruit from a tree less than five years old. [Lev. 19:23]
…cross-breed animals. [Lev. 19:19]
…grow two different plants in your garden. [Lev. 19:19]
…wear a cotton-polyester blend T-Shirt. [Lev. 19:19]
…read your horoscope. [Lev. 19:26]
…consult a psychic. [Lev. 19:31]
…cut your hair. [Lev. 19:27]
…trim your beard. [Lev. 19:27]
…are tatooed. [Lev. 19:28]
…plant crops for more than seven years. [Lev. 25:4, Ex. 23:10-13]
…bear a grudge. [Lev. 19:17]
…collect interest on a loan. [Ex. 22:24]
…insult a leader. [Ex. 22:27]
…mistreat a foreigner. [Ex. 22:21, 23:9]
…spread false rumors. [Ex. 23:1] (Sorry, Pat Robertson!)
…drive a Mercury. [Ex. 23:13] (Look it up.)

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