What Do You Mean It Was Brimming?

August 7, 1998

I just got a new word processing program and put it to the ultimate test. I’d like to share the results–with apologies to Lewis Carrol.

‘Twas brimming and the stilly totes
Did gyrate and gamble in the wage,
All misty were the boroughs,
And the mom rates outgeneral.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jujube bird and shun
The furious bandstand!"

He took his vortex sword in hand,
Long time the Manxmen foe he sought–
So rested he by the tumble tree,
And stood a while in thought.

And as in offish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock with eyes of flame
Came whiffing through the bulgy wood
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One,two! And through and through
The vortex blade went snicker snack!
He left it dead and with its head
He went gallumphing back.*

"And hats thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms my bearish boy!
Oh fractious day! Callow! Chalet!"
He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas brimming and the stilly totes
Did gyrate and gamble in the wage,
All misty were the boroughs,
And the mom rates outgeneral.

*This was the one stanza that had no problems. Go figure. This year marks one-hundred years since Charles Dodgson retired from life. He’d be happy to know that he’s still causing confusion.

Before I share this week’s offering with you, I would like to share something more serious. This is not a joke. In fact, it’s a story we hear all too often. On July 19th, 1998, a little girl was abducted. Please visit the website listed below, and pass this information on. Someone out there must know something. The rest of us should do what we can. Thank you.


Question of the Day:

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?


On an Electrician’s truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

English Sign in German Cafe: "Mothers, Please Wash Your Hans Before Eating."

On a Scientist’s door: "Gone Fission"

On a Taxidermist’s window: "We really know our stuff."

Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"

At a Music Store: "Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner."

On a Music Teacher’s door: "Out Chopin."

On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a min-u-et."

At a farmer’s field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges."

In a Podiatrist’s window: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Butcher’s window: "Let me meat your needs."

On another Butcher’s window: "Pleased to meat you."

At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be."

In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

Name of another Beauty Shop: "Hair We Are!"

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

In a Dry Cleaner’s Emporium: "Drop your pants here."

In a Restaurant window: "Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

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