April 6, 2007
What’s the deal with dandelions, anyway? There was a train of thought leading up to that, but it fell into a freak wormhole and ended up here. Stanger things have happened. Anyway, I’ve never understood why people hate dandelions so much–especially people who are obsessive about their lawns. There’s an important distinction between people who have lawns and those of us who have yards. A lawn is finely manicured and could be used as a putting green. My neighbor who runs out of his front door and grabs every leaf that falls from every tree before it hits the ground has a lawn. A yard, like mine for instance, is a raggedy collection of some nice grass, a lot of weeds, some bare patches, and any leaves that haven’t already blown over into my neighbor’s yard. The only time I have a lawn is when I pull out the lawn mower, and that’s just pure semantics. Do you say "mow the lawn" or "cut the grass"? I say "mow the lawn" because "cut the grass" sounds like something you do with a pair of scissors.
But I digress. My yard is also home to about thirty-seven million dandelions, and I think it’s nice. I’m not a big flower guy, but I like all those bright yellow dots all over the yard. And then they turn into those white puffballs that are a lot of fun. Make a wish on a dandelion. Or, even better, you can do what I do: blow all those little seeds into my neighbor’s lawn right after he’s spent six hours going over it with a pair of scissors.