Out Of Order

October 2, 2009

Whenever I see a sign on a door that says, "Keep Closed At All Times" I think, why even have a door there in the first place?

Why is it that in science fiction movies people always land on planets that have gravity and an atmosphere exactly like Earth’s, even when the planet doesn’t look anything like Earth?

True fact: E.B. White’s book Charlotte’s Web was criticized for having so much death in it. He responded, " I am working on a new book about a boa constrictor and a litter of hyenas. The boa constrictor swallows the babies one by one, and the mother hyena dies laughing."

When I was a kid I watched a program about Nostradamus and got really scared because, according to the program’s interpretation, he predicted that the appearance of Halley’s comet in 1986 would mark the beginning of a horrific worldwide famine. I thought, "Just my luck it would be the same year I get my driver’s license." It turns out Nostradamus and I were both wrong.

Sometimes in programs about how potato chips or pretzels or cheesecakes are made they’ll interview someone who will be described as a "Potato Chip Expert" or "Cheesecake Historian". That’s the job I want. Where can I get an application to be a Fried Food Authority?

Another true fact: in the 19th Century most people who died from black widow spider bites were bitten in their outhouses. You’re probably asking yourself, "Where on the human body is the outhouse located?"

Why is it that in so many action films that take place in the present or the near future someone will, at some point, use Morse code, and someone on the receiving end will be able to decipher it? About twelve people in the world are currently fluent in Morse code. What are the chances two of them are going to be involved in a high-tech deep-sea mining operation, or saving the Earth from an alien invasion?

If the Romans used sundials to tell time, how did they know what time it was at night?

Before the invention of the light bulb what appeared above peoples’ heads when they got an idea?

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