December 13, 2013
Have you ever had one of those days when…
You’re walking along without a care in the world and you put your foot in a twice baked potato.
You can’t get anything done because you’re obsessed with finding a picture of what Mount Rushmore originally looked like.
You order a latte with skim milk and the guy behind the counter won’t stop staring at you and then you realize it’s a bathroom mirror. And the latte has half-and-half in it.
You can’t get a song you can’t remember out of your head.
You wonder how different your life would have been if you’d been named Irwin.
You go to a computer store and get a virus.
You feel like yogurt-pale and smooth on top and fruity on the bottom.
You wake up in the middle of the night with the solution to all the world’s problems. You write it down. When you wake up it’s the complete rules of pinochle.
You wonder why there are 60 seconds in a minute 60 minutes in an hour but only 24 hours in a day.
You don’t accept the terms and conditions.
You wait an hour for fast food.
You find a tiny string of numbers just under your ankle that looks suspiciously like an expiration date.