This Is Why I Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Text.

It was late on a Friday afternoon. I’d left work and was walking to my car when my phone started boinging. It was a text from my boss.

text1She’s also a good friend so I could have used a shorter colloquialism, but I try to maintain some sense of decorum, especially when discussing job related matters.

I was passing by a library so I popped in to use one of the computers to submit my timesheet. I have no explanation for what I sent next. It must have been the waxing moon.

text2A few minutes later she replied to let me know my timesheet was done.

text3I just couldn’t let that pass.

text4text5That was the last I heard from her, which was probably just as well because the waxing moon was making it harder for me to maintain some sense of decorum. On the bright side I may be getting that raise.

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17 Comments

  1. Ray V.

    As we go through our daily routines, it is these little occurences that keep us smiling and telling the stories. Not too long ago, a group of people from my office were having a “text meeting” and wanting to agree with someone’s idea, I texted “Dittos” but my iPhone, being smarter than me transmitted “Doritos”. That is now the new code word for a good idea around our office.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That’s fantastic. It’s nice when the spelling checker makes those accidents that actually improve what you’re sending. And Doritos are always a good idea.

      Reply
  2. kdcol

    Thanks for the earworm, Chris! Actually I had never paid attention to the lyrics before. I believe I have a whole new appreciation for the song now. 🙂

    (you really do like October, huh?)

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s hard not to appreciate a song that has lyrics like “You’d better stay away from him!/He’ll rip your lungs out, Jim!”
      And, yeah, it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

      Reply
  3. Ann Koplow

    Thanks for this delightfully loupy post, Chris.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thank you for contributing to the loupiness.

      Reply
  4. Gina W.

    So you won’t say “shit” to your boss, but you’ll use the phrase “Ho Fuck”. Interesting…

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      What’s even more interesting is my phone didn’t alter it. Some days I type things into my phone and I swear I can hear it sighing and saying, “I give up.”

      Reply
  5. Jay

    Haha, you’re like the anti-autocorrect!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I am! And that’s why I’ve turned off the autocorrect on my phone. It’s always telling me things like “xenium” and “belsire” aren’t words. I have to sternly remind it that the Oxford English Dictionary says otherwise.

      Reply
  6. Margot

    You must be a fun, strange and wild co-worker/friend. How on earth do you know about all these types of creatures? I Google some term or other almost every time I read one of your posts. Plus you have all these lyrics at the ready! I wonder what it would be like to spend time in your brain. I imagine I’d max out and be exhausted within an hour.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Every office has to have an eccentric, and I was more than happy to fill the position. There’s just something about the way my brain is wired that I remember the most unusual things but forget to pick up celery at the grocery store, because there’s only so much room in my brain.
      Also sometimes I think I max out my friends and co-workers. It can happen even to those who aren’t inside my head.

      Reply
  7. Gilly Maddison

    Well that brightened up my morning. Makes a change to read a man-blog. I should do it more. Less frilly. Perhaps I should subscribe so I don’t miss the madness. This is the second time I have read you by accident.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      The fact that you dropped by makes me almost as happy as being able to brighten up your morning. I hope you’ll drop by again even if you don’t subscribe.

      Reply
      1. Gilly Maddison

        I will and I did! ?

        Reply
  8. Sandra

    Remind me never to piss you off lol
    I guess now you are practically obligated to wear a werewolf costume to the office for Halloween.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Actually I’m quite tame and even housebroken. And I was a werewolf for a previous Halloween. My coworkers don’t celebrate Halloween like they used to which is unfortunate. I’ve never been able to convince my department to do a Princess Bride theme. I really want an excuse to be Miracle Max.

      Reply

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