The phenomenon of “zombie graffiti” has only further reified the extent to which this trope has developed into a metaculture with its own self-identifying participants, rituals, and (sub)texts.
-Dr. Lily Addams, “The Stalking Dead: The Evolution of Narrative Into Reality”, from Ars Academia, v.49 no.7, pps.77-49
Yes, zombies, you can live, but there have got to be some ground rules. If I invite you to dinner or out for coffee you can’t take that as an invitation to try and eat my torso. You’ve got to act a little more civilized. Try and play nice for a change. It would also help if you’d say something instead of just grunting or moaning. Let’s have a conversation that involves something other than brains. And maybe change clothes once in a while. You could do with a shower too, or at least put on some deodorant. I’m serious. It smells like something died.
Wow. I am so sorry. I really didn’t mean that. It just slipped out. I mean, really, I’m not prejudiced. I don’t have anything against the Animate Non-Living. Trust me, I really appreciate how much you people have contributed to our culture.
Here, you can nibble on my arm a little bit. Okay? Are we cool?
Hey, not so much!
Always take them somewhere that provides free snacks – bread, or peanuts, or something they can nibble on. Just seems safer that way.
That’s a really good idea. Zombies love finger foods.
I always appreciate ground rules. This post makes me wonder if my cat Oscar is a zombie, because he’s nibbling on my hands as I’m writing this.
If Oscar is then all cats are. I’ve never met a cat yet who didn’t nibble my fingers. I think the Egyptians were onto something worshipping cats as guardians of the dead.
It took me for freaking ever to figure out the words. I thought it said “cameltoe”. Not kidding. Which would actually be some pretty awesome graffiti. CAMELTOE!
You’re going to go write that on buildings now, aren’t you? I’m a terrible enabler.