Peep This.

peep1I hate Peeps. To be more accurate I hate marshmallows. I’ve never liked marshmallows. When camping trips would turn to the obligatory toasting of marshmallows I preferred to let mine just turn into flaming goo that would then fall off the stick. S’mores? How about s’nothanks? I’ll just have some chocolate between a couple of graham crackers. A family member made some homemade marshmallows and I thought maybe my problem was only with mass-produced marshmallows.

It isn’t. I hate marshmallows.

And Peeps are marshmallows with a sugar coating.

The library where I work used to have an annual event around this time of year: Peepapalooza. Don’t ask me why but Peeps are a library thing and the event involved serving fruit, Peeps, chocolate—including chocolate fondue for dipping, beverages. I discovered that even when dipped in chocolate, caramel, or guacamole I still don’t like Peeps, but it was fun, especially watching some of my co-workers get three Peeps to the wind.

There was, however, the door prize. By the door was a stack of small sheets. We were supposed to write down something we liked about Peeps and then drop it in a box and there would be a random drawing.

I have a problem with this sort of thing, especially when there’s a prize involved. I can’t limit myself to entering a contest like this just once, but I faced a dilemma. I thought writing down “They burn nicely” would cast a pall over the proceedings if that answer were drawn and since it was a library event I thought there should be some literary submissions. They included:

We real Peeps

We play for keeps

–Gwendolyn Brooks

Because I could not stop for Peeps

They kindly stopped for me.

The basket held but just ourselves

And a chocolate bunny.

–Emily Dickinson

Eat a Peep first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

–Mark Twain

To Peep or not to Peep. That is the question.

-William Shakespeare

I sing of Peeps and the man.

-Virgil

I will arise and go now, and go to to Innispeep

And a small cabin build there of marshmallows made…

-W.B. Yeats

Peeping

Is an art, like everything else.

I do it exceptionally well.

–Sylvia Plath

I wrote a few more but there was fruit and chocolate to be eaten. When it came time for the drawing this was the winning entry:

Well it’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon. Pastor Inqvist was handing out Peeps during his annual Easter sermon. Marilyn Tollerud is diabetic but she couldn’t refuse in front of the congregation, and things went…

Garrison Keillor wasn’t present so it was suggested I accept the award on his behalf, but I had to decline since the prize was a big box of Peeps.

peep3

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7 Comments

  1. Kristine @MumRevised

    Agree and disagree. I can’t stand Peeps either. I love S’Mores and marshmallow minis in my hot chocolate (I guess that means warm marshmallows with chocolate) but the Peeps are vile. I also believe that marshmallows should be found only in their natural state. By that I mean, highly processed. Anyone trying to emulate marshmallowness with sugar and gelatin has too much time on their hands and likely they are too sticky to trust.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I find marshmallow minis in hot chocolate tolerable because they dissolve and it’s really the consistency of marshmallows that bothers me more than anything else since they don’t really taste like much of anything. And I’m really okay with s’mores too as long as the marshmallows are melted into a gooey paste. The problem is there’s such a brief window between ready and falling off the stick into the fire, or in flames and coated with ashes.

      Reply
  2. Gina W.

    I’m with you on the Peeps. Thankfully my husband and son feel the same way so we are a Peep-free household. However, it turns out that I do like real, homemade marshmallows. I didn’t know this until years ago when I ate a Modjeska for the first time. Or maybe anything tastes good if you dip it in caramel. If I add, “food for thought” is that too much?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      This is the best kind of food for thought: sweet and chewy and, um, I guess it might give you brain cavities. Now I want to try Modjeska because I believe anything does taste good dipped in caramel. Except maybe Peeps. Dipping them in chocolate doesn’t make them any more edible so I doubt even the magic of caramel would work.

      Reply
  3. Ann Koplow

    I love:

    (1) marshmallow
    (2) peeps
    (3) all your contest entries
    (4) this post.

    Too sticky sweet for you, Chris?

    Reply
    1. Ann Koplow

      Two more peeps from me:

      (5) S’mores
      (6) You

      Reply
    2. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Just sweet enough. Thank you.

      Reply

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