I hate Peeps. To be more accurate I hate marshmallows. I’ve never liked marshmallows. When camping trips would turn to the obligatory toasting of marshmallows I preferred to let mine just turn into flaming goo that would then fall off the stick. S’mores? How about s’nothanks? I’ll just have some chocolate between a couple of graham crackers. A family member made some homemade marshmallows and I thought maybe my problem was only with mass-produced marshmallows.
It isn’t. I hate marshmallows.
And Peeps are marshmallows with a sugar coating.
The library where I work used to have an annual event around this time of year: Peepapalooza. Don’t ask me why but Peeps are a library thing and the event involved serving fruit, Peeps, chocolate—including chocolate fondue for dipping, beverages. I discovered that even when dipped in chocolate, caramel, or guacamole I still don’t like Peeps, but it was fun, especially watching some of my co-workers get three Peeps to the wind.
There was, however, the door prize. By the door was a stack of small sheets. We were supposed to write down something we liked about Peeps and then drop it in a box and there would be a random drawing.
I have a problem with this sort of thing, especially when there’s a prize involved. I can’t limit myself to entering a contest like this just once, but I faced a dilemma. I thought writing down “They burn nicely” would cast a pall over the proceedings if that answer were drawn and since it was a library event I thought there should be some literary submissions. They included:
We real Peeps
We play for keeps
Because I could not stop for Peeps
They kindly stopped for me.
The basket held but just ourselves
And a chocolate bunny.
Eat a Peep first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
To Peep or not to Peep. That is the question.
I sing of Peeps and the man.
I will arise and go now, and go to to Innispeep
And a small cabin build there of marshmallows made…
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I wrote a few more but there was fruit and chocolate to be eaten. When it came time for the drawing this was the winning entry:
Well it’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon. Pastor Inqvist was handing out Peeps during his annual Easter sermon. Marilyn Tollerud is diabetic but she couldn’t refuse in front of the congregation, and things went…
Garrison Keillor wasn’t present so it was suggested I accept the award on his behalf, but I had to decline since the prize was a big box of Peeps.