This weekend my wife and I were cleaning off the patio and under old grill I found a giant colony of ants. They all started running around, most carrying eggs, and I imagined them screaming, “Save the women and children! Save the women and children! What do you mean we’re all women?” because all worker ants are technically female, something we men should keep in mind. In ant colonies it’s women who bring home the bacon, and the leftover sandwich that someone left on the ground, and the last miniscule contents still clinging to the inside of a tuna fish can.
Actually the first thing that happened was the smell of formic acid hit me and I had a flashback to the first time I saw the movie THEM! and wondered how hard it could be to find giant ants in Los Angeles. I’ve since been to Los Angeles and it seems entirely plausible. Without a GPS I’m not sure we could have found our hotel and it was significantly bigger than even a giant mutant ant, but that’s another story.
And then I remembered this that I made after I heard about the death of Milton Levine, inventor of the ant farm. I didn’t find the queen but I did my best to save the women and children, sweeping them up and moving as many as I could to a back corner of the yard where I hope they’ll stay. And hopefully not turn into giant mutants. It’s a long way to downtown Los Angeles.