Polite Quiz.

etiquetteThis quiz will test your knowledge of etiquette. If you encounter ambiguous or confusing questions consult the answer key before proceeding.





1) You’re walking with a friend down the street. You should

a) Walk on their left

b) Walk on their right

c) Decide based on whether they’re left or right-handed

d) Pretend to push them into traffic and laugh

2) A co-worker shares confidential information about a fellow co-worker with you. You should

a) Say nothing

b) Report the co-worker who spoke to you to HR

c) Report both co-workers to HR

d) Use the information to blackmail Kevin into bringing you duty-free Scotch from the conference he’s attending

3) You’re running late for a meeting and step into the elevator. You see another person approaching from a distance. You should

a) Hold the door

b) Let them get the next elevator

c) Pretend you don’t see them

d) Yell “Hurry!” while you’re pressing the ‘Door close’ button

4) You’re tweeting  a Periscope video that was shared from an Instagram link on Facebook. Should you also like it on Tumblr for your Tindr profile?

a) Yes

b) No

c) Only if the person who sent it has added you to their LinkedIn network

d) Get off my lawn!

5) You’re spending the night at Lord Buldlington’s manor. Whilst dressing for afternoon tea you discover your third valet forgot to pack an extra set of garters. You should

a) Send word to the sophomore footman that you require supplemental livery

b) Ask the underbutler to create a distraction in the parlor so your manservant can slip into Sir Merton’s room and “borrow” his walrus-ivory cufflinks

c) Feign illness and have a cold supper of smoked tongue and aspic in your room

d) Create a scandal by calling Lady Bertrille “a swotty knickerbocker”

6) You’re having drinks with coworkers. The person to your left has purchased a round for the entire table. Everyone expects you to do the same but you don’t have enough money. You should

a) Apologize and offer to pay for the drink the other person purchased

b) Buy drinks but quietly ask a friend to help

c) Decide you can be a little late with this month’s rent

d) Buy several more rounds and appetizers and wake up three days later in a Vegas hotel room with an armadillo and the word “ANTHROPOMORPHIZE” tattooed on your forehead

7) You make a bank shot off two rails and sink one of your opponent’s balls. You believe this is a foul and the ball should be replaced. Your opponent disagrees. According to the rules

a) You are correct

b) Your opponent is correct

c) The ball doesn’t count but should remain pocketed

d) It’s time for another round of drinks

8) You are driving down a narrow road and the driver behind you insists on tailgating. You should

a) Maintain your current speed

b) Slow down

c) Tap your brakes

d) You’re driving in Russia, so who cares? Go offroad!

9) You’re at an elegant dinner party and a dish you don’t recognize is served. You look at the array of utensils next to your plate. You should

a) See what the people on either side of you pick up

b) Use the shrimp fork

c) Use the oyster knife

d) Get a new plate each time you return to the buffet

10) You and a friend have made plans to go out. At the last minute your friend cancels but you learn later that your friend was seen out without you. You should

a) Say nothing and assume your friend had good reasons

b) Say nothing and save it for a later argument

c) Ask your friend what happened

d) Disguise yourself and start stalking them

11) You receive an email and forget to reply to it. After a week the sender sends a follow-up email asking if you received the first email. You should

a) Apologize and reply immediately.

b) Claim the email went to your junk folder

c) See if they’ll send a third email

d) Cut off all internet access, move to Borneo, and adopt a whole new identity

12) You’re about to drop your calling card at the Windermere House and you notice both Henry Greene and Aloysius Wells have left their cards first. You should

a) Leave your card on top even though this will reveal you were late

b) Slip your card to the bottom

c) Split and double down

d) Take Greene’s card and inscribe the word “Scallywag” on it

13) You’re at a party and are introduced to a large number of strangers. To remember their names you should

a) Mentally repeat each person’s name to imprint it on your memory

b) Repeat each person’s name once as you’re introduced to them

c) Suggest that everyone wear nametags

d) Just call everyone “Jeff”

14) A person to whom you’ve just been introduced asks how much money you make. You should

a) Say you don’t discuss personal finances

b) Ask, “Why, do you need to borrow some?”

c) Say, “Obviously more than you based on those shoes.”

d) Set them on fire.

15) You’re taking an online quiz and start to doubt your answers. You should:

a) Keep going. You’re doing your best and that’s all you can do

b) Quit because who really needs this crap?

c) Take “Potent Potables” for $600

d) Check the answer key



Facebook Comments


  1. Laura - CaledonAcres

    of course I wrote all my answers down and had my own logic going lol

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      In my experience it’s best to follow your own logic when dealing with questions of etiquette. If someone looks down on me because I took olives from a tray with a sardine fork instead of a melon spoon who’s really the one who doesn’t understand courtesy?

  2. Gina W

    Oh man, this quiz was easy-peasy, rice and cheesy (as my son says). Every answer was “D”. Or it was for me at least. Especially the Russia one. Well done.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Somehow I knew you’d nail the one about driving in Russia. Also I’m glad to know you’d call Lady Bertrille a “swotty knickerbocker”. Seriously, she deserves it.

  3. Chuck Baudelaire

    Everyone who knows me knows that I have to walk on the left at all times. It isn’t etiquette so much as it’s one of the many quirks people have to suffer to hang out with me. Good quiz, Jeff!

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      There’s nothing more polite than accepting another person’s quirks. So I doubt those who hang out with you would call it “suffering”.

  4. Margot

    Another excellent quiz. I disagree with most of your answers, though, you scallywag. If you’d read of Book of Etiquette you’d have retained your True Southern Gentleman standing, in my book. After your comment on Linda’s blog yesterday I just don’t know what to think of you anymore, and I’m prescribing tomato juice for the remainder of the week.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’ve lost my True Southern Gentleman standing? I don’t know how I’ll recover from this. And the tomato juice isn’t having a very good effect on me either.

      1. Margot

        Of course not. I’m just having fun teasing you this week for some reason (beats threatening repeatedly to hit you with a dictionary, I hope). As the True Southern Gentleman that you are you’ve remained cool as a cucumber.

  5. mydangblog

    Best quiz ever. Not only do I lack etiquette, I also annoyed the people around me by laughing uproariously!

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Yes, not sharing something you find funny with the rest of the class is a breach of etiquette. Hopefully you’re lucky enough to work with people who share your sense of humor.

  6. Lisa K

    So, while I was checking my forehead sticky note in the mirror, I went ahead and checked the answer sheet as well…
    10 bonus points.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Fantastic! You win the quiz.

      1. Lisa K

        *beams ginormous smile*

  7. Sarah

    So, I love these quizzes that you have going! What an awesome idea! 🙂 And, I tend to learn things about myself after I take them. In this one, it was that I’m an incredibly rude person. Thank you very much for enlightening me on that. I think you need to buy prizes and pick a winner of the quiz each week and mail them out. It would be a win-win situation. You get to buy people prizes, and they get to receive them. 🙂 Anyway, I’m a bit behind in my blog reading this week because the whole family was puking, violently. But, you can believe I’ll be catching up this weekend!

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      The whole idea of quizzes just came to me when I realized how much certain medical terms sound like musical instruments and vice versa…I have thought about offering prizes but I keep thinking I need a bigger group of readers. Also I would only select a winner at random. I don’t want anyone to feel pressured to come up with the right answers–especially on a quiz like this where there are no “right” answers.
      And thank you for adding “kotzen” to my list of terms for puke, along with barf, vomit, throw up, upchuck, blow chunks, blow chow, blow chowder, toss your cookies, hurl, spew, do the technicolor yawn, drive the porcelain bus…I could go on. I have quite a collection.

  8. Ann Koplow

    Fabulous post, Jeff.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thanks, Jeff, and also I have to give a shout-out to the contributions of Jeff and Jeff.


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