Another day another rejection. At least I can say that McSweeney’s editors are nice and with this latest rejection I feel like there’s a genuine note of hope. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but this one seems to contain a nugget of constructive criticism, a small sense that I should try again, that if I keep chipping away there is a chance that I might break through the ice before I suffocate and my body drifts to the bottom and I am forever entombed in the lifeless dark of a boreal tarn.
Well, that went dark rather quickly.
Here’s the reply:
Note that the editor is also named Chris which gives me a chance to once again dredge up the old joke from my high school when a friend of mine, also named Chris, snapped, “Walking down the halls of this school and yelling ‘Hey Chris!’ is like going to a Cure concert and yelling ‘Hey, you in the black!’”
That joke still makes me laugh even though it goes dark rather quickly. Or goth. Or really it’s just aimed at such a narrow subset of the ‘80’s generation that I’m the only one who thinks it’s funny.
I know from experience that, even though I’m joking about it now, literally minutes after I received it, there’s a bad moon a’risin’ in my consciousness. I hear the voice of rage and ruin, it looks like I’m in for nasty weather, earthquakes and lightning, and while it’s not bound to take my life I do see trouble on the way.
Well, that went CCR rather quickly.
I also know from experience that I’ll get through it. That’s the upside of experience: you can look back and see the smoldering wreckage you walked away from and know that you’ll walk away from the crash that’s about to come and you’ll have an excuse to use the word ‘smoldering’ again.
And, yeah, I will share what I submitted here—maybe after I’ve tinkered with it and revised it, or maybe just as it is. Here’s the catch: I’m not telling you what it is or when it will appear. See if you can guess. And if you think you’ve spotted it click the “Like” button below. Or click the button because you like it. Or because you like clicking buttons.
It’ll give me a lift.
Okay, I clicked LIKE even though I’m not entirely sure I spotted it. Is it song names hidden in everyday prose? Or is that too generic or obvious? Either way, McArionis would never reject reading your lists. Not that that would cheer you up.
Actually it will appear later this month. That’s a hint. And it’ll be pretty obviously a list and celebrating a landmark anniversary of a historic event. Well, now I’m sure I’ve said too much.
Ah, made me go back and read my own Mcsweeney’s rejection.
Funny, that also made me want to go back and read about your McSweeney’s rejection which I remembered you wrote about but never shared what you wrote–until yesterday! Well, I’d like to sit around here and jabber but I’ve got stuff to go read.
I like clicking like. I like that Chris rejected us both. I like that the joke was on me. Or, was it on you? That clown reminded me why so many people are afraid of clowns.
I think the joke was on all of us. At the very least it started the whole world laughing. And I have it on pretty good authority that Puddles The Clown is really extremely nice.
I got rejected by Cracked. It made me sad, but not sad enough to create metaphors involving my corpse. But still sad.
Rejections are always sad, but still being rejected by Cracked is a feather in your cap. They’re very particular about what they’re looking for and just having something to submit to them is pretty impressive.
I’m not impressed by McSweeney’s but I am impressed by you. So, Chris, you got that goin’ for you.
And I’m very grateful to have that going for me. Knowing that I can impress others keeps me going.