Going Commercial

Source: WikiArt

One night I was sitting at home watching TV and a commercial for a Mongolian restaurant named after Genghis Khan came on, and, well, you know how one idea leads to another, so I jotted this down in a notebook.

Scene: The front inside section of a restaurant. A very overweight man in a late 18th century aristocratic outfit–tailcoat, vest, powdered wig, etc., all in rich aqua-colored fabric, strolls forward.

Host: Tired of being beaten by high-priced restaurants that don’t fulfill your desires? Come to De Sade’s for real satisfaction.

As he speaks he walks by the open kitchen where a chef is beating something with a large whip. He proceeds to the buffet which runs through the center of the restaurant.

Host: At De Sade’s we aim to provide everything you could want with our all-you-can-eat buffet. Steaks, seafood, and a wide variety of sides and salads.

He picks up a cucumber and points it outward.

Host: No one else’s is bigger. I can promise you that.

He then proceeds to the end of the buffet.

Host: And dessert is included with every meal.

He cuts a small slice out of a chocolate cake then tips the entire cake onto his plate. He then puts his fingers in a bowl of whipped cream and scoops it into his mouth.

Host: Mmmm. Freshly whipped.

Cut to: a family–father, mother, son, and daughter–sitting in a booth. The Host sits down next to them.

Host: And remember: at De Sade’s kids always eat free.

The parents look alarmed and pull their children away.


Facebook Comments


  1. Ann Koplow

    Thanks for providing everything we could ever want with your blog, Chris, and for being smart as a whip.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Your comments are the cream of the crop.

  2. Allison

    I would totally eat there. Maybe not the salad bar, but everything else.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      You should see the health department’s score. Let’s just say the Marquis runs an exceptionally clean kitchen.

  3. Red

    It took me a minute… I was distracted by the first line juxtaposed with that entirely un-Genghis-y image. Hmmm…

    Do you know the Monty Python architect sketch? It’s how I learned the word abattoir. Somehow, this ad reminds me of that.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I love the architect sketch! Especially Mr. Wiggin saying, “Oh. I hadn’t fully divined your attitude towards the tenants.”


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