It’s difficult not to get swept up in the grandeur and majesty of the Olympics. People are drawn to watch, to spend hours watching brave and dedicated athletes perform incredible feats in bitter cold from the comfort of their warm couches. It’s powerful and mesmerizing. It’s like a fever, which is why, looking at the incredible number of events, all I can think is this:
Olympic Sport or Illness?
- Curling
- Scurvy
- Rickets
- Skijoring
- Bandy
- Alpinism
- Pelota
- Roque
- Rackets
- Croquet
- Sauna
- Sibelius
- Pellagra
- Beri beri
- Tryptophan
- Influenza
- Luge
- Slalom
- Norovirus
- Nordic combined
- Rabies
- Rubella
- Monkeypox
- Salmonella
- Polo
Scoring
23-25: Gold
21-22: Silver
19-20: Bronze
15-18: Copper
11-14: Tin
7-10: Rubber ball on a string
4-6: For crying out loud, it’s only once every four years. Would it hurt to take a little interest?
1-3: You will be forced to give a humiliating interview about your loss
Answer Key:
I do not have so much as the Olympic sniffles.
There must have been an Olympic shot I could have gotten at the start of the season. That’ll be something good to keep in mind in four years.
You are one talented whackadoodle. It took me 5 minutes to figure out how to read the answers with my mirror. I shouldn’t be allowed out without a guardian.
You held your monitor/laptop/tablet/phone up to a mirror? That’s pretty clever. I never would have thought of that. I would use the snip tool to make a copy of the answer key, paste it into MS Paint or a similar program, and reverse it.
Of course that’s how I get the answer key to look like that.
14 & 18 aren’t on your answer key. I’m going with 14 as a disease and 18 as a sport. Even if I didn’t get those two right I still take home the gold! I’ll meet you up at the top of the podium. Please have the Arionisland national anthem cued up. Here it is… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAz0FR4fySc
If you think 14 is a disease and 18 is a sport you’re good. If you had that backward I’d recommend you watch more Olympics and eat more brown rice. Also I was afraid you were gonna Rickroll me with the national anthem, but I’m glad to have clicked. That is indeed a fitting anthem.
Is it sick that this clever post reminds me of a recent Jimmy Kimmel bit?
That is incredibly sick in the best way. I wonder if I can get a bit of credit from Jimmy Kimmel for connecting illness and the Olympics.