Not Far From The Tree.

It’s not quite Fall in the northern hemisphere but already the days are noticeably shorter. The mating calls of the crickets, cicadas, and katydids are louder with the fierce urgency of the late season. The sky is more blue, the mornings are more crisp, or that just might be the drugs kicking in. Soon it will be harvest season. All these combined to prompt the following pop quiz: Apple variety of classic American burlesque performer?

1. Granny Smith

2. Lily St. Cyr

3. Beverly Hills

4. Birgit Bonnier

5. Mamie Van Doren

6. Royal Gala

7. D’Arcy Spice

8. Sally Rand

9. Carolina Red June

10. Chesty Morgan

11. Gypsy Rose Lee

12. Pacific Rose

13. Paula Red

14. Pink Lady

15. Yakety Sax

16. Ginger Gold

17. Golden Delicious

18. Ann Corio

19. Honeycrisp

20. Honey West

21. Kerry Pippin

22. Jayne Mansfield

23. Fanny Brice

24. Al Lewis

25. Roxbury Russet

1-5: Like the crickets, cicadas, and katydids your mating calls are louder at this time of year.

6-10: Cider? You hardly knew her!

10-15: Your tassels are showing.

15-20: You really like them apples.

20-25: You’ve spent more time in burlesque clubs than Morey Amsterdam.

Facebook Comments


  1. michelle poston combs

    HAhahaaha..this is great. I didn’t score myself, though.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s no problem that you didn’t score yourself. I’m sure you know your apples. And your burlesque.

  2. Ann Koplow

    I really like them apples, Chris.

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I hoped you’d like them apples and the tribute to summer’s end.

  3. Mila

    What drugs are you on? *wink, wink*

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Yeah, that’s the trouble. I think taking drugs would make me too normal.

  4. BarbaraM

    You made me pull out my mirror again!

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Next time I’ll just turn everything upside down. And flip it around. I want to make it nice and challenging.

  5. Tom

    Hahaha! Brilliant! ?

    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I wanted to give everyone a chance to score.


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