Rejected Writing Prompts.

The moisturizer didn’t start working until several applications later.

 

Why aren’t amino acids called “amateur teins”?

 

It wasn’t apropos—it was the propos.

 

Things used to turn on a dime. With inflation they turn on a dollar.

 

Nothing had changed. So had everything.

 

How much power does it take for your phone to warn you the battery is low?

 

Creaky door in a full house on a summer afternoon—no big deal.

Creaky door in an empty house in the middle of the night in late fall or early winter—utterly terrifying.

Creaky door in an empty house in the middle of the night in summer—hey, might as well check it out, it’s not like you have to get dressed or anything.

 

Opening dialogue:

“How can we get people to come to the event?”

“I could give out samples of my wine cake.”

“I’m not sure about that.”

“Oh, it’s not what it sounds like. It’s soaked in vodka!”

 

The dessert known as a Baked Alaska in the United States is called a Norwegian Omelet in France.

 

One-hundred and eighty minutes later we realized it had been three hours.

 

Do cowboys ever pretend they’re 7-year olds?

 

Was “Bingo” the name of the dog or the farmer?

 

Did telegram messengers use stationery bikes?

 

I’ve never run a Marathon but one summer I did work as a clerk at one of their gas stations.

 

You don’t meet a lot of women with “Jr.” after their name.

 

We chose the Czech airport for reasons that were purely Prague-matic.

 

My life was influenced by the Greek philosopher Mediocrites.

 

Why is there lemonade but no grapefruitade, kumquatade, or banananade?

 

Opening dialogue:

“They really treat you like family at this restaurant!”

“Here’s your bill, and as soon as you’re done you can start washing the dishes.”

 

In the end the salmon was a red herring.

 

Ray Bradbury said, “Write a short story every week. It’s not possible to write 52 bad short stories in a row.” Prove him wrong.

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8 Comments

  1. Rivergirl

    I think kumquatade sounds perfectly delighful.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      The more I think about it the more I think kumquatade should be a real thing, and wouldn’t be that hard to make since kumquats are very a-peeling.

      Reply
  2. mydangblog

    In Canada, an Adirondack chair is known as a Muskoka chair, and Kinder eggs aren’t banned here. When I was running the creative writing club years ago, my favourite story starter was “Duck!” screamed Joe. It was always amazing what the kids came up with!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I don’t know why but Muskoka chair sounds so much better to me than Adirondack. Anyway I’ve realized there’s no such thing as a bad writing prompt, but yours really is a good one. It’s already inspired me to add, “It’s not a duck,” replied Danny, “it’s a chicken!”
      Anyway, as for Kinder eggs, I can’t think about them without being reminded of this:

      Reply
  3. ANN J KOPLOW

    I loved this post, Chris, and I couldn’t help thinking that every one of those would make a great Tweet on Twitter. Of course, this is a reflection of the fact that I’m spending hours on Twitter, where they really treat you like family.
    ANN J KOPLOW recently posted…Day 3114: We all have questions.My Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      You’ve made me think I should come back to Twitter, if only to give you some much needed support, and because you really do treat me like family, but in the best possible way.

      Reply
  4. M.L. James

    Why am I thinking about Steven Wright right now?
    M.L. James recently posted…Tactfully Yours…Or NotMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I don’t know why you’re thinking of Wright but I’m a really big fan of his and the fact that anything I’ve written made you think of him is a super nice compliment.

      Reply

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