Nightmare At 51.6 Inches.

It’s going to be a while before I fly anywhere, for various reasons, but, when I do, my preference is always the window seat. This is mostly because I like to look out the window on flights. I don’t have a real fear of flying but I do get the sort of deep dread you feel when watching a horror film and everything is calm and quiet and you know that means the monster, zombies, chainsaw-wielding maniac, or poisoned-cookie-pushing demon grandmother is going to pop out at any second. In spite of this or because of it I like to look out the window, especially when the plane is taking off, and also when it’s landing, the two times I assume it’s most likely that the plane will crash or a deadly grandmother will pop out, because once we’re up in the air she’d probably be blocked by the beverage cart, but that’s another story.

I also just like to look out the window at the clouds and sky and, if it’s still visible, any scenery. It’s comforting to me even at night when there may not be that much to see, although there are exceptions.

And there’s another advantage to the window seat that never occurred to me until I read Jalopnik’s article on The Definitive Rules For Airplane Armrest Allocation, which was prompted by an airplane being rerouted back to the gate because two passengers got into a fistfight over elbow placement, which is the sort of thing that fills me with the kind of deep dread that real life is more terrifying than anything any horror film could cook up, and that’s why the title of this post refers to the general width of row of three seats on an airplane.

Here’s the graphic guide to the rules:

This is perfectly reasonable and should be respected by all fliers. Airplanes, by their very nature, push a lot of people into a very small space, and to stay safe and make what’s always going to be an uncomfortable experience bearable we have to work together and do the best we can to defeat that demon grandmother before she makes it past the beverage cart.

In the end there’s only one question to be asked: what seat do you prefer?

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2 Comments

  1. ANN J KOPLOW

    I want the window seat every time, Chris, and it was great looking through your eyes here.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’ll be sure to save the window seat for you any time you want to look in.

      Reply

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