The Month of March As A Restaurant Menu
Appetizers
Shrimp cocktail
Simple, classic elegance, half a dozen chilled shrimp served with cocktail sauce and lemon.
Fried green tomatoes
A historic Southern classic since 1991, cornbread fried and served with our house remoulade.
A kick in the nuts
Customers have expressed confusion about this so we want to be clear there are no nuts—no pecans, no walnuts, no hazelnuts–or nut-adjacent items like peanuts, cashews, sesame seeds, or anything else you find in fancy nut mix. This is an actual kick in the family jewels delivered by one of our chefs who, if you’re lucky, will be wearing Crocs.
Spring rolls
Rice-paper wrapped spring rolls, your choice of shrimp of vegetarian, with cucumber, bean sprouts, and cilantro. With plum sauce for dipping.
Roast chicken
An entire chicken stuffed with mushrooms, croutons, capers, and gorgonzola with a wine-reduction sauce. For some people this is an appetizer. Don’t judge.
Salads
House salad
Iceberg lettuce with cucumber, radishes, chopped tomato, and our house vinaigrette.
Big bowl of broken glass
Served with our house dressing which in this case is literally pieces of the building we knocked off with a hammer and threw in there.
Entrees
Prime rib
Either eight or twelve ounces, grilled to your specifications, served with two sides and you may or may not be stabbed in the hand by your waiter.
Linguini with clams in either red or white—oh, wait, we just became one of those sushi places where the sushi goes by on a little conveyor belt. We hope you enjoy our new direction.
Burgers and Sandwiches because we’ve turned back into the place we were when you came in.
House burger
Your choice of ground beef, turkey, or black bean. Served with fries and your server will scream non-stop for five minutes.
Box of crayons between two slices of bread
The crayons are all orange so if you want the chef will melt them and you can pretend it’s the world’s worst grilled cheese.
Desserts
Brick
We stole a bunch of these from a construction site. Served on an elegant dish.
Chocolate cake
Our own special recipe made with swirled dark and white chocolate, available with or without macadamia nuts, raspberry sauce, and whipped cream.
Raw oysters
The chef may stick a few of these in the chocolate cake if you’re wondering why it’s in the desserts.
Beverages
We have a wide variety of craft beers on tap, bottled, and in cans, as well as a range of specialty cocktails.
Iced tea is available sweet or unsweet.
Still and sparkling water is available, as are soft drinks.
Someone dressed as the Kool-Aid Man may pour a pitcher of Mountain Dew Code Red over you as he runs through the restaurant singing Roger Miller’s “You Can’t Rollerskate In A Buffalo Herd”.
Thank you for visiting the month of March—where anything can happen!
Classic March. Love it!
When I was a kid I heard a joke that March was so named because it was when all the soldiers would march off to war. And then April 1st was when they realized they were all a bunch of fools.
Delicious, Chris.
March is indeed a tasty month.