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What’s the most memorable way someone has ever asked you out?
This is not a request for suggestions—I’m very happy with my wife and have no interest in anything other than friendship with anyone else. I’m curious because something came up recently that reminded me of the most creative way someone has ever asked me out. It was before I met my wife. I was in college and the person and I knew each other—I thought there was something there but was afraid to make the first move. They were out of town one weekend and left me their dorm key so I could feed their fish. I went in and there was a note on the stereo that said “Play Me”.
There was a cassette in the stereo—showing my age, I know—cued up to “Reel Around The Fountain” by The Smiths.
This was, as I said, the most creative way someone has ever asked me out, not the best way. I was an English major so of course I had to analyze every single line of the song. I thought I understood “Fifteen minutes with you/Well, I wouldn’t say no” but did they want me to slap them on the patio? And was that a euphemism? I pretty well understood, though, once it got to this verse:
I dreamt about you last night
And I fell out of bed twice
You can pin and mount me like a butterfly
But, “Take me to the haven of your bed”
Was something that you never said
Still not the best way to ask me out. Someone who really wanted to woo me would use a Kinks song—but not anything from Give The People What They Want. It’s a great album, one of my favorites. It’s just not one for setting the mood; the song “Destroyer” pretty well sums up some of my romantic experiences, but that’s another story.
Most happy memories are tinged with sadness, including this one. I has happier having forgotten it, honestly, and will be happy to forget it again until something reminds me of it. Listening to “Reel Around The Fountain” that first time, though, while feeding a crimson betta fish, was and always will be pure happiness. I don’t know if the person I’ve been writing about here will ever read this. I’m not going looking, but I will say this: in spite of how badly things went we did have a very happy fifteen minutes and I hope you’re happy now.
Oh, people see no worth in you
I do
Oh, I do
Christopher, you’ve touched upon a fascinating aspect of my relationships with women. I’ve never experienced a relationship founded on romantic inclinations. Instead, all my relationships, including my marriage to Amelia, are deeply rooted in the bonds of friendship. Interestingly, Amelia and I maintain an open relationship—perhaps this is because, at our core, we are married best friends.
Thomas Slatin recently posted…The Muses Companion – July 26, 2024
Thomas, that is fascinating, but it’s also good that your romantic relationships have been rooted in friendships. It is, I think, a much healthier way to have relationships. It’s also good to know that you and Amelia not only have the friendship but also the trust in each other to have an open relationship.
Oh, that is so wonderfully bittersweet and nostalgic. The most I ever got was Hey, want to go out? Even Ken wasn’t super-romantic at first, but he showed his poet’s heart once we were dating (of course, we only dated for 6 months before we moved in together and got married!).
Ken seems to have a lot of strengths and qualities that make up for him not being super-romantic, at least at the beginning of your relationship. It sounds like he might have gotten more romantic in the intervening years. And of course you knew pretty soon that you’d both made the right decision.
I love this story, Chris. I can’t remember anybody asking me out poetically. I will say that Michael, whom I met online, stood out by not playing any games and letting me know, day after day, that he wanted to keep communicating with me. For months, we exchanged daily emails and the first time we got together in person, he communicated very clearly that he wanted to keep our relationship going. That was poetically soothing to my soul.
Ann Koplow recently posted…Day 4231: You’re not responsible for other people’s feelings
I thought about you and Michael, Ann, especially since I’ve always thought Michael must be a good guy to be with you. It’s nice to know he’s as much of a gentleman as he is an excellent cook.