Fourth of July celebrations around the United States usually mean dazzling displays of pyrotechnics, but they can cause a lot of problems, including fires. There are plenty of alternatives like movies in the park, so here’s a pop quiz: Fireworks or Buddy Cop film?
1. Hot Fuzz
2. Point Break
3. Bad Boys
4. Turner And Hooch
5. Tuggy Huggy
6. A Gnome Named Gnorm
7. Sky Monster
8. Three Minute Blaze Of Glory
9. Lethal Weapon
10. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!
11. Furious Flamingo
12. Terms Of Endearment
13. Sixteen Blocks
14. Emoji Spinners
15. Ground Bloom Flower Brick
16. Men In Black
17. Buffy The Vampire Slayer
18. Dragnet
19. Penguin Mama
20. The Glimmer Man
21. Croc Rock
22. Midnight Run
23. Killer Chihuahua
24. Osmosis Jones
25. Demon Escape
26. Bottle Rocket
27. Roman Candle
28. Blue Streak
29. Heart Condition
30. Donkey Balls
Scoring:
More than 25–You’re a Hollywood special effects technician with a business card that says “I blow shit up for a living.” You burned down your high school.
15-24–For reasons only you can explain you double majored in film studies and chemistry and still have most of your fingers. You burned down your parents’ garage.
10-14–You like movies and always find the best parking spot for your local Fourth Of July celebration. You once burned off your eyebrows while grilling hot dogs.
5-9–You watch your local Fourth Of July celebration on the morning news on the fifth of July. You burn yourself on the stove every time you cook.
1-4–You once burned yourself with a glow stick.
All fireworks are currently commercially available and trademarked by their respective manufacturers.
Answer Key:
Buddy cop film: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, 10, 13, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 28, 29
Fireworks: 5, 7, 8, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21, 23, 25, 26, 27, 30
Should be both: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 14, 17, 19, 25, 30
Someone nearby sets off professional fireworks without a license. In Vermont, fireworks are illegal unless you are a licensed professional and have a permit. My decades in the fire department have left me with PTSD and the explosions of fireworks trigger it. So it looks like I’ll be consuming a lot of cannabis edibles this evening just to deal.
Thomas Slatin recently posted…My Buckle My Shoe Photo Album
People with PTSD are one of the main reasons I think fireworks in neighborhoods should be banned entirely. Supposedly they’re illegal here but people can just drive to the county line where there are tents that pop up in late June with fireworks for sale. I hope the edibles helped you through the night.
Great quiz! We decided not to have fireworks this year because a) it was very windy and b) we have a lot of bunnies and chipmunks this year and didn’t want to traumatize them (Atlas isn’t bothered by fireworks at all). And then I read about the guy who put a firework on his top hat and died! Wow…
Yeah, I heard about the guy who blew his head off with a firework too. Hopefully it was the same guy–I’d hate to think of that happening to more than one person, or even just one person. It’s been very dry here too and it would be terrible to have a fire started by fireworks. Someone in my neighborhood set off a few fireworks in the middle of the street but not many. Amazingly we can hear the professional ones from downtown.
I did really well on this one, Chris, but I’ve never burned anything down (as far as I know).
I’ve never burned down anything I know of either, although I did once set a rather large fire in the basement. Also you just reminded me of the story Lou Costello told of the time he was a boy and accidentally started a fire in his room. He ran to his mother and asked for a glass of water, then another and another…