Light ‘Em Up!

Fourth of July celebrations around the United States usually mean dazzling displays of pyrotechnics, but they can cause a lot of problems, including fires. There are plenty of alternatives like movies in the park, so here’s a pop quiz: Fireworks or Buddy Cop film?

1. Hot Fuzz

2. Point Break

3. Bad Boys

4. Turner And Hooch

5. Tuggy Huggy

6. A Gnome Named Gnorm

7. Sky Monster

8. Three Minute Blaze Of Glory

9. Lethal Weapon

10. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!

11. Furious Flamingo

12. Terms Of Endearment

13. Sixteen Blocks

14. Emoji Spinners

15. Ground Bloom Flower Brick

16. Men In Black

17. Buffy The Vampire Slayer

18. Dragnet

19. Penguin Mama

20. The Glimmer Man

21. Croc Rock

22. Midnight Run

23. Killer Chihuahua

24. Osmosis Jones

25. Demon Escape

26. Bottle Rocket

27. Roman Candle

28. Blue Streak

29. Heart Condition

30. Donkey Balls

Scoring:
More than 25–You’re a Hollywood special effects technician with a business card that says “I blow shit up for a living.” You burned down your high school.
15-24–For reasons only you can explain you double majored in film studies and chemistry and still have most of your fingers. You burned down your parents’ garage.
10-14–You like movies and always find the best parking spot for your local Fourth Of July celebration. You once burned off your eyebrows while grilling hot dogs.
5-9–You watch your local Fourth Of July celebration on the morning news on the fifth of July. You burn yourself on the stove every time you cook.
1-4–You once burned yourself with a glow stick.

All fireworks are currently commercially available and trademarked by their respective manufacturers.

Answer Key:

Buddy cop film: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, 10, 13, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 28, 29
Fireworks: 5, 7, 8, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21, 23, 25, 26, 27, 30
Should be both: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 14, 17, 19, 25, 30

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4 Comments

  1. Thomas Slatin

    Someone nearby sets off professional fireworks without a license. In Vermont, fireworks are illegal unless you are a licensed professional and have a permit. My decades in the fire department have left me with PTSD and the explosions of fireworks trigger it. So it looks like I’ll be consuming a lot of cannabis edibles this evening just to deal.
    Thomas Slatin recently posted…My Buckle My Shoe Photo AlbumMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      People with PTSD are one of the main reasons I think fireworks in neighborhoods should be banned entirely. Supposedly they’re illegal here but people can just drive to the county line where there are tents that pop up in late June with fireworks for sale. I hope the edibles helped you through the night.

      Reply
  2. mydangblog

    Great quiz! We decided not to have fireworks this year because a) it was very windy and b) we have a lot of bunnies and chipmunks this year and didn’t want to traumatize them (Atlas isn’t bothered by fireworks at all). And then I read about the guy who put a firework on his top hat and died! Wow…

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Yeah, I heard about the guy who blew his head off with a firework too. Hopefully it was the same guy–I’d hate to think of that happening to more than one person, or even just one person. It’s been very dry here too and it would be terrible to have a fire started by fireworks. Someone in my neighborhood set off a few fireworks in the middle of the street but not many. Amazingly we can hear the professional ones from downtown.

      Reply

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