Time And Tides.

The Moon is finally getting a time zone. This is exciting because, though there still aren’t any residents there, giving it a time zone seems like part of a long-term plan to eventually establish lunar bases. Time zones are also very important. My wife and I realized this once when we drove three hours to a concert. The whole trip was almost due north but time zones have jagged edges, as though time cares about geography, and we ended up being an hour late. This worked out perfectly because we didn’t want to see the opening act anyway, but that’s another story. For most of human history time zones didn’t matter because going from one place to another, especially crossing oceans, was such a slow process no one noticed the time difference. Faster ships and, more importantly, trains created a need for standardized timekeeping, which is at least one thing most of the world can agree on. Trains also created word problems, which is at least one thing most of the world can agree are terrible.

A specific time zone for the Moon also addresses a big problem I’ve had with most science fiction. I’m willing to suspend a lot of my disbelief but in most science fiction shows and movies that involve people traveling from one planet to another how is it they almost always manage to arrive during daylight hours and when everyone’s awake? I can accept that somehow ships that are able to travel vast intergalactic distances in a matter of hours, or even days, have somehow found a way to deal with the time distortions that would be caused by traveling at or even faster than the speed of light, but statistically someone who’s on the run from space pirates or aliens or trying to get a shipment of cargo delivered has got to arrive at a spaceport at two a.m. on a Tuesday and sit in a holding pattern until the planetary rotation moves it into a reasonable hour. I’ve gone to parties and because I’m very concerned about being on time I’ve ended up circling the block because three hours is stretching the idea of “fashionably early”.

Star Trek, especially The Next Generation, did address this occasionally. Less experienced officers got the graveyard watch, and on at least one occasion an important message from Starfleet arrived in the middle of the night so Admiral Narrative Device had to start by saying to Captain Picard, “I’m sorry to wake you.” Although that just made me wonder how a ship on a long-term space voyage, where there is no “day” or “night” determines what time it is. No matter what the ship’s standard time was they’d eventually show up at a planetary bases or space stations at odd times. Shore leave always goes in shifts and it would be inevitable that at some point Yeoman Smith would have to beam down at two a.m. on a Tuesday after the bars were all closed and he’d be wearing a red shirt.

At least Doctor Who never had this problem. When your hero is a Time Lord they never have to circle the block waiting for the right time to show up at a party. A Time Lord is always right on time. And there is some science fiction that does deal with time zones. At the start of Larry Niven’s novel Ringworld Louis Wu is celebrating his birthday and starts hopping into transporters so he can go from time zone to time zone, extending the day until he hits the International Dateline. Imagine having a day so amazing you wanted to keep it going as long as possible and had the potential to do it by bouncing around the globe. Alternatively if you were having a really bad day you could use the same technology to head in the other direction, making your day shorter. That’s what I’d do if I had a math test with a bunch of word problems.

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6 Comments

  1. Allison

    I finally understood word problems while driving from Atlanta to Nashville when Matt and I were dating. And I knew to correct for the time change.

    The ones I hated were where you were filling and emptying a pool at the same time, but at different rates. Because I just keep thinking, what a waste of water!

    I’m glad the moon has a time zone now – because like you, I’m always embarrassingly early to parties.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Correcting for the time change is always good. And I’m glad you finally understood word problems. What kind of opened up my mind was learning that sixty miles an hour is a mile a minute. I should have figured that out on my own but, you know, math. But that just got me thinking: thirty miles an hour is a mile every two minutes, ninety miles an hour is a mile and a half every minute, seventy-five miles an hour is a mile and a quarter every minute…it’s best not to think too much about it.

      Reply
  2. mydangblog

    So if it’s 9 am here, what time is it on the moon? Hopefully 5 pm and then I could have a drink!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Well, it’s been a few days since this comment, and for all the time I spent talking about the Moon getting its own time zone I didn’t even think to look up what that time zone is. It’s Coordinated Universal Time, formerly Greenwich Mean Time, but time is relative and it’s always after five somewhere.

      Reply
  3. Ann Koplow

    I have no problem with your words, Chris, no matter what time it is.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’m always glad when you take the time to stop by here.

      Reply

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