About The Author.

Christopher Allen Waldrop was born several years ago and has lived somewhere ever since. He is a Sagittarius, but don’t hold that against him. He’s been from Indiana to Russia and back. He speaks just enough of half a dozen languages to be unable to communicate with anyone. He picks up spiders with his bare hands but is terrified of ferrets. When the mood strikes him he files assault charges. If he didn’t run out of quarters he wouldn’t stop playing pinball. He doesn’t know what the deal is with pudding and wishes you would quit asking. He really loves his wife and is happy to be owned by multiple Dalmatians. In his spare time he breeds urinals. His friends kindly ask that you please not get him started.

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58 Comments

  1. Ann Koplow

    I’m realizing we have a lot in common, Christopher. I am also terrified of ferrets, for example. Don’t get me started.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s nice to hear that. So many try to convince me they’re wonderful pets. I suspect it’s a nefarious plot created by the ferrets.

      Reply
      1. Lynn

        Ferrets smell bad. Not much of a comment, but just trying to support you.

        Reply
  2. Ann Koplow

    Christopher, are you a lefty? Or is there another way to explain that photo?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’m a proud lefty! Are you as well?

      Reply
      1. Ann Koplow

        I procrastinated answering your question, Chris. I am a proud lefty as well.

        Reply
  3. Shawna

    I told my husband other people drink out of mason jars and I’m just too lazy to go buy some regular cups. I like filing assault charges, too. There is something so calming about the paperwork.

    Reply
    1. Shawna

      NOT too lazy. *NOT*

      Reply
      1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

        Sure–that’s what they all say.

        Reply
  4. Monica

    Hey! Let spiders alone! 🙂 I love spiders! I brought one home, but my mother was scared of him and killed him.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I love spiders too! That’s why I catch them with my bare hands. It makes it easier to carry them outside and release them. I’ve never had a pet spider but I did have a pet snake once. The best part of that was the time some burly contractors were putting down carpet, saw the snake, and told my mother, “Lady if that thing gets loose we’re outta here.”
      You’d think it would take more than a little snake to scare those guys.

      Reply
      1. Michelle

        Oh god! You are completely welcome to come around to my house and be my live-in spider remover. We get BIIIG huntsman spiders in Queensland and while I’ve been gradually learning to manage my arachnophobia (that’s code for I see so many of the things I’ve become slightly less prone to freaking right out) sometimes like last night they are just TOO. DAMN. BIG. Side plate size is too big.

        Reply
      2. DOUG THOMAS

        My two Persian kitty brothers love spiders, too…and eat them. Hmm. I tolerate them because they eat flies that the cats miss. Other people deal with them in their own way…

        https://youtu.be/fehx600AJa0

        Reply
      3. Cameron Graham

        Awww! No one should be mean to snakes, they are adorable and awesome and I like the way they don’t make me sneeze!
        Also they are surprisingly good a cuddling, and this pleases me in an animal…

        Reply
        1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

          Every spring my neighbor calls me over to get a snake out of her garden, and I’m always happy to oblige because I’d rather save the snake than have something terrible happen to it. And I’m pretty sure it’s the same snake every year, so it’s like meeting an old friend.

          Reply
  5. Library Heather

    Random comment: I saw your recent post on another blog and recognized it immediately as being from “Sneakers” – one of my favorite movies! You will now be my new best friend.

    I also love spiders and most animals, including insects and reptiles, but I’m irrationally afraid of parrots & fuzzy caterpillars. In my house, I (rather than the hubby) am responsible for humane animal capture and relocation.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      It’s such a delightful surprise to run into someone else who loves “Sneakers”. It’s a surprise because it seems like too few people have even heard of that film, much less seen it. I think of that as a mixed blessing, though, since if it got too popular I’m sure they’d make a terrible sequel.
      And parrots are terrifying. There’s nothing irrational about that. I’ve never been that afraid of fuzzy caterpillars, although my grandmother told me that the fuzzier they are the colder the coming winter will be.

      Reply
      1. Marlies Vonn

        Definitely agree about the parrot thing. A parrot once bit me. Kind of like “a moose once bit my sister” but it didn’t get a subtitle in a Monty Python sketch. That parrot just hopped over a took a nice little chunk out of my arm. That is all I have to say about that.

        Reply
  6. Wesley Hollifield

    I can imagine the Dalmatians are like ‘Yea he’s a good guy, I think I’ll keep him.’ Thanks for stopping by my blog I’m trying to find the follow button for yours but it has eluded me.

    Reply
    1. His wife, but not Jane

      Trust me – if the Dalmatians hadn’t approved of him, he’d be living somewhere else. Sri Lanka, maybe. Or Evansville.

      Reply
  7. halfa1000miles

    I added a page to my blog today. You’re on it.

    Bloggers have tribes — other bloggers that they both support and lean on. These are other bloggers I think you should check out and support:

    http://www.freethinkersanonymous.com – He was born several years ago and has lived somewhere ever since. (He’s very smart and I don’t even know why he puts up with us).

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      That is amazing–thank you so much. It’s an honor to be so recognized by someone else who’s so smart and funny.

      Reply
  8. Ken Knudson

    I stand in awe of anyone who picks up spiders IN THEIR BARE HANDS…

    Reply
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  10. Marlies Vonn

    I would love to get you started with the breeding urinals thing. A good idea when breeding urinals is to also breed signs that read “Please do not throw cigarettes in the urinals. It makes them soggy and hard to light.”

    Reply
  11. Sequitur

    I imagine you are called “Freethinkers Anonymous” because you realize it doesn’t pay to think but you don’t want anyone to know you know that.

    Reply
    1. Rakkelle

      Hi Chris – I have been catching up on your Blog. I am trying to leave comments but for strange reason my comments are not going through. I am getting a message indicating that WordPress is unable to post my comment.

      I came here looking for your email so I could email you directly. I can’t find an email address though. Am I not reading properly?

      Anyway, very cool “About Me”…If you have a minute can you possibly check your settings to see what’s going on.

      Reply
      1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

        Hi–I owe you two enormous thank yous. The first is for dropping by, which I always appreciate, and the second is for letting me know about the commenting problem. I think this has come up before. Somehow I managed to uncheck something, or maybe it got unchecked automatically during an update, but I think it’s fixed now. It looks like WordPress is allowing comments again.
        I’m really terrible with computers, which is of course why I have an online blog, but your question really was a great chance to learn some about the inner workings.

        Reply
  12. Arionis

    After following your blog for almost a year now, I decided to jump back to your very first post. October 30, 1995??? Are you kidding me? I was still calling BBS’s with my 2400 baud modem back then. You, my friend, are a rock star!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      And some of the very earliest ones, which I’m pretty sure I started sending out around April, are lost. In those days it was all email and the things I was doing were very crude, built out of sticks and mud. I just kind of fell into it. I also remember 1200 baud modems, although I stuck with 300–that was my reading speed.

      Reply
  13. Chris

    Hail fellow well met! Just a note from critter to see if you ever thought about returning to the Afterlife Club?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I have and really should get back to it, although Slack’s interface frustrates me. With the group that’s there, though, it’s more than worth getting used to.

      Reply
  14. Vinnieh

    You’ve got a pretty great blog here. I’m happy I came across it.

    Reply
  15. Jeff Goebel

    Hello Christopher. Your FACEBOOK plugin seemed to cause some issues this week and your site was down. I have removed that plugin. July 27.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Hi Jeff,
      Thank you very much!

      Reply
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  17. Ellen Hawley

    Well, the thing about ferrets is that they’re bigger than spiders, even if they don’t have as many legs.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Ferrets have larger teeth too, which I think is the thing that terrifies me most about them.

      Reply
  18. Bryce Warden

    I used to house to ferrets. Your fears are valid.

    Reply
    1. Bryce Warden

      Oops….two. Damn it.

      Reply
    2. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thank you for confirming my fear of ferrets. I’ve always suspected that people who love ferrets have never really been around ferrets.

      Reply
  19. The Huntress 915

    Soooo what is this thing about pudding? Explain…

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I don’t know if I can explain beyond saying I really like pudding.

      Reply
  20. Bryce Warden

    “When the mood strikes him he files assault charges.” Dead, I tell you, dead, so funny.

    Reply
  21. Patricia Chew

    Cool blog, Christopher. I like the picture of the goldfishes. The photo of you and your two Dalmatians is pawsome. Btw, I’m a lefty too. Cheer, Pat aka NBC

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thank you so much, and I’m glad you dropped by. The Dalmatians are glad you like the picture too–they like any attention. And it’s always nice to meet a fellow southpaw.

      Reply
  22. BarbaraM

    I’m suddenly getting e-mails from your comments sections that make no sense. They obviously aren’t from actual readers – they’re more spam/advertising. Is anybody else getting these? They are attached to all sorts of different subject blogs (mostly recent ones – at least within the year). One was even in a foreign language?

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      I’ve been getting a ton of spam lately and have been working hard to keep it under control. I’m not sure what’s going on with WordPress but something’s changed that makes it hard for bona fide comments to get through while a ton of spam gets posted with no problem. I’ve gotten spam in at least three languages other than English so far.
      I’m sorry you’re getting hit with it too.

      Reply
      1. BarbaraM

        This is a personal best from “your” comments. Cyrillic and many paragraphs long! It was a comment from your “I came, I thaw, I conquered.

        Привет,

        Я хотел поделиться очень важными новостями, которые распространялись по интернету о нашем будущем благополучии.

        Reply
        1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

          Yeah, I’ve been trying to delete those as soon as they appear.

          Reply
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  24. BarbaraM

    Just thought I’d let you know that this morning I received 21 “comments” on your various blogs that all said “Hello, I see your website is running very slow…..”. Looks like I mentioned this to you before (February 2020), but they seem to be overwhelming you now! But at least they’re in English! Stay safe! B

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thanks for letting me know–I seem to be getting a bunch of those too, which is part of why I’ve been slow about getting back to comments here. I’ve been swamped with comments in various languages too. Not that I have anything against other languages, but I’m not bilingual. Heck, I’m barely lingual some days.

      Reply
  25. BarbaraM

    It’s up to about 50 now (see above comment) This is a direct copy of them: How do I make them stop?!?!?
    Hello , i see that your website is very slow , try to finder faster , cheaper hosting , >> https://www.best-wordpress-hostings.org/ , slow hosting effect your seo ranking ! here is the best and the top wordpress hosting >> https://www.best-wordpress-hostings.org/

    Reply
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  28. Stephanie Whitlock

    you posted about a sketch from the later 90s, like…5 years ago?
    the one about Orange-Gyna?

    in case you havent found it, its the Bert Fersherners comedy central special

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Yes, thank you. I remembered it was the Bert Fershners and it disappeared for a long time. It’s kind of funny to see it back now.

      Reply

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