Resolvulations.
Having read several articles about New Year’s Resolutions over the years I’ve been able to coalesce all that I’ve learned into the following recommendations:
-Always make New Year’s resolutions. If your goal is self-improvement in any form having specific resolutions will help you stick to that and give you a marker to work from.
-Never make New Year’s resolutions. If your goal is self-improvement in any form having specific resolutions will just frustrate you and distract you from what you need to do.
-Share your New Year’s resolutions with others, especially friends who will help you remember what your resolutions are and keep you on track.
-Keep your New Year’s resolutions private. Sharing your goals can actually have the effect of making you feel like you’ve already accomplished something, making you less likely to finish what you started. Your friends also have their own resolutions and forcing them to remember yours just makes you a jerk.
-Make your New Year’s resolutions realistic and attainable. Setting goals that you’re unlikely to meet is just going to harm your self-esteem, making you even less likely to accomplish anything.
-Set lofty, seemingly unobtainable goals for yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t accomplish these goals but even incremental steps toward something grand can help your self-esteem.
-The practice of New Year’s resolutions started in ancient China. Also ancient Greece, ancient Egypt, prehistoric Ireland, the Mayans, western Africa, and Hoboken, New Jersey, in 1932.
-The first modern record of a New Year’s resolution is from Peterborough, England, on January 1st, 1802. George Critten put a notice in the Peterborough Times that he had resolved to take a bath once a week.
-The first modern record of a New Year’s resolution being broken is from Peterborough, England, on January 3rd, 1802, when George Critten reportedly declared the River Nene “bloody frozen”. He would eventually take a bath in the summer of 1809.
-Create a reminder, either by writing it on a calendar or on a phone or other device, to remind you throughout the year of your resolutions so you’ll stay on track.
-Keep your resolutions in your head. If they’re really that important you won’t need reminders.
-Beryllium in its pure form tastes sweeter than sugar. It’s also incredibly toxic. However since it’s relatively rare on Earth and is never found naturally in its pure state our taste receptors never evolved to recognize it as a poison. This was in an article about New Year’s resolutions. I don’t remember what it had to do with them but I thought it was interesting and I’m pretty sure I missed everything else the article was about because I was so busy wondering who looked at some pure beryllium, which is silvery and crystalline, and said, “I should lick that.”
Johnny Karate: Always remember, kids: When you find something new, you must always lick it before you eat it.
Carpenter Ron: That is incorrect in a number of ways.
Source: Nesflix
While Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups have, for obvious reasons, consistently been ranked the best Halloween candy, with Snickers, M&M’s, Kit Kats, Twizzlers, Mounds, 
My high school Junior year, in song:
April 2022-Things got off to a rocky start when someone said, “Hey, remember pet rocks?” This sent everyone off into a research project that uncovered, among other things, the fact that there was an official “Pet Rock” invented by an advertising executive and sold in a cardboard box with ventilation holes in 1975. Most staff old enough to remember the fad thought pet rocks were just rocks that people found and gave to each other as a joke in the mid-‘70’s. The fad was briefly revived by the film Everything Everywhere All At Once. A discussion of whether or not pet rocks should have googly eyes attached quickly degenerated into everyone sticking googly eyes on everything.
