Dog Walk.

dogwalkThese morning walks with Bruce are the best. The afternoon walks are good too, but in the mornings it’s cooler and still damp. Everything smells so much better when it’s a little wet. Smell rises in the mist. Bruce is going the wrong way. Why is he doing that? I try to pull him the other way but he’s insistent. Okay, I’ll go with him.

Chipmunks have been here. And rabbits. I’m getting that more earthy smell of rabbits here. Squirrels too. I got a squirrel once. One good shake and there was squirrel everywhere. That was fun. It surprised me so much as soon as Bruce called me I went running to him. He cleaned it all up, but I could smell squirrel guts in the driveway for a week after that.

This is okay but I’m worried we’re going to miss Treat Lady. I like Treat Lady. I like her a lot. I look forward to seeing her. She always has something for me. Sometimes it’s cheese. Cheese is my favorite, but it’s good when it’s something crunchy. She’s nice. She smells like a cat. I’ve never really been around cats but I know what they smell like and I like that. And sometimes her legs have tiny little cuts on them that I have to sniff very carefully. When her legs are bare and have those little cuts they also smell like perfumy soap that makes me sneeze. It’s a little like the stuff Bruce used to use on his face. He’d get cuts on his face too. Then he got the buzzy thing. It attacks his face every morning. He holds it but it still manages to get all over his face. I don’t like it. Sometimes after he’s pulled it off and made it get quiet he lets me sniff it. It smells like his face and his hair and also kind of burned. I really don’t like it. Sometimes I have to tell it to stay away from me. I don’t know why Bruce thinks that’s funny. He can be so weird.

He used to feed me and take a shower after we’d go for a walk, but now he takes a shower first. We used to just get up and go. Then after we started meeting Treat Lady every day he would get up earlier and take a shower before we left. The first time I stuck my head under the shower curtain and watched him and waited for him to figure out he was doing it wrong. He didn’t, even when I stood by the door and told him I really needed to go. He was really messing up my schedule. Sometimes I have to remind Bruce about things. I have to go in circles or stand right by the food box because he’s got the voice maker pressed up to his face and he’s talking to it. Sometimes I have to speak sharply to the couch because my ball’s under there and that’s the only way I can get Bruce to get it out. When we’re lying in bed together and he moves I have to let out a long sigh to remind him he’s not supposed to move while I’m trying to sleep. And when someone knocks on the door I have to yell a lot to let them know I’m here and that this is my house. Bruce doesn’t appreciate how important that is.

The next few days Bruce kept taking a shower before our walk and I said, okay, this is something new and different, like getting to know Treat Lady, but not as good.

This tree smells like squirrels. Like a lot of squirrels. And a dog. Bruce lets me stop and pee on it. I lift my leg really high to let them know how big I am. Usually Bruce pulls me away when I scratch at the ground with my back feet to let those squirrels know how serious I am, but today he just lets me do it. We’re going very slowly today.

There’s a person with a dog on the other side of the street. Maybe it’s that same dog I smelled on the tree. I can’t tell. I stay close to Bruce. The dog says something to me. I ignore it. We walk on. I’m glad Bruce doesn’t try to stop. There’s too much new and different already today.

There’s a spot on the ground that smells like it could be from that dog. I hope we’re not going to keep going this way every day, but I pee on it just in case.

I wonder if this has anything to do with Treat Lady. Yesterday when we saw her I could smell Bruce getting sweaty and his body tensed up. I could feel him getting warm when he was talking to her. It was weird. He wasn’t angry but his voice was tight and he kept twisting the leash. He breathed really fast and really heavily, and Treat Lady didn’t look at me as much as she usually does. She gave me something crunchy that was salty and stringy, and then Bruce and I had to walk away really fast. When we got to the big tree at the intersection, the one with the funky, musky smell I don’t recognize I barely had time to pee before Bruce was pulling me on again. Then when we got home he banged the bowl around while he made me breakfast and that hurt my ears.

Bruce didn’t shower this morning, and the buzzy thing stayed where it is. He’s very slow this morning. He’s not pointing out the squirrels to me. Maybe he misses Treat Lady too. I feel like I should do something to cheer him up. I’ll bring him this stick. That’ll make him happy. He always likes it when I bring him a stick. Hey! Birds!

10 Comments

  1. TwerlaP

    I really like this. A lot.
    Except for Treat Lady. She’s a tease.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Wow. That’s harsh but hilarious. It never occurred to me that Treat Lady might be sending signals with her shaved legs.

      Reply
  2. kdcol

    Just for a split second, I thought Bruce was the dog. And how interesting to see a guy get shot down, all from his dog’s perspective. Poor Bruce.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      At least he’s got someone warm to cuddle with each night. Treat Lady only has her cat who may or may not sleep on her face.

      Reply
  3. Ann Koplow

    Thanks for the treat of this post. It smells great.

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Thank you. I hope it’ll smell just as good in the afternoon.

      Reply
  4. Gina W.

    What went wrong between Treat Lady and Bruce? I really want to know! And what was the last treat? The salty and stringy thing? I appreciate details but I need more information!

    Reply
    1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

      Stringy, salty…sounds like boiled heart to me.
      What went wrong? Who knows? Maybe Treat Lady’s just not that into Bruce even if she likes his dog. I’ve known more than a few dogs who were a lot nicer than their owners.

      Reply
    2. kdcol

      Funny, Gina. You sound just like me when Gerald is telling me some story from work or some juicy tidbit heard about friends/neighbors. He never finds out the details. Drives me bonkers.

      Reply
      1. Christopher Waldrop (Post author)

        Poor Gerald. It can be hard to get the details without getting too nosy. At work I have a reputation for never knowing any good gossip. What people who accuse me of that don’t realize how good I am at keeping secrets.

        Reply

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